And there’s the beginning of a gratified grin, at the corner of Chris’s mouth. This is so easy, Julia can hardly believe it; suddenly she can see why everyone else has been doing it all along. ‘Sooo,’ she says, doing a boob-stretch. ‘Can we, like, sit down and talk?’

Chris says, suddenly wary, ‘How did you . . . ? That phone you texted me off. How did you . . . ?’

He wants to know if Selena was in on this. For a second, Julia considers letting him think she was. But then he might go off on Selena about it, and that would complicate everything. She goes with the truth, or part of it. ‘Me and Selena share a room. I found her phone and I read your texts.’

‘Whoa,’ Chris says. He steps back, hands going up. ‘You know about us?’

Julia does a winsome giggle. ‘I’m smart.’

‘Jesus,’ Chris says, face curling up in undisguised disgust. ‘Isn’t she your friend? I mean, I know girls can be bitches, but this is, like, something special.’

‘You have no idea,’ Julia says. She doesn’t bother to put a cutesy twist on it, and for a second Genius Boy’s brow furrows, but before he can start to wonder if this is some elaborate scheme to take the piss out of him, she takes a condom out of her hoodie pocket and holds it up.

That knocks everything else out of Chris’s head. His eyes pop. He was expecting a snog and a bra-based struggle. This never entered his mind.

After a moment he says, ‘Seriously? I mean . . . like, we’ve talked, what, three times?’

Julia manages a giggle. ‘Come on. James Gillen must’ve told you about me. Right?’

Chris shrugs uncomfortably. ‘Well. Yeah. But James talks a load of bullshit. I thought you’d told him to get lost, and he was just being a prick.’

For one second, Julia feels that shake her. Here she thought everyone believed shitty little James Gillen, and all the time Chris, the last guy she would ever have thought of— The creature calls a warning in the cypresses again and things pelt at her, if Chris was actually serious about Selena, meant the things he texted, if he was someone she might actually like instead of— They’re chipping her away, battering her soft. Another second and she’ll be cracking apart, gone.

She says, ‘James is a total prick. But he’s not a total liar. Hello, it’s the twenty-first century? Girls are actually allowed to like sex too? You’re a babe, and I heard you’re a great kisser. That’s all I need to know. I’m not looking to marry you.’

And Chris can’t have been all that in love with Selena, after all, or else the condom has him hypnotised. He steps forward.