‘I feel criticised,’ Holly says, hand to her heart. ‘Should I use my D’s?’

‘Don’t be Defensive,’ Becca drones, in Sister Ignatius’s voice. ‘Don’t be Despondent. Take a Deep breath and be a Dickhead.’

‘It’s OK for you,’ Julia tells Holly. ‘If you get kicked out, your dad’ll probably give you a prize. My parents will freak. The fuck. Out. And they won’t be able to decide who was the bad influence on who, so they’ll just play it safe and never let me see any of you again.’

Becca is folding up a silk scarf that she already knows her mother will never wear. She says, ‘My parents would freak out too. I don’t care.’

Julia snorts. ‘Your mother would be delighted. If you can convince her that you were heading to a gang bang in a coke den, you’ll make her year.’ Becca is not what her parents had in mind. Usually she practically curls into a ball when they come up.

‘Yeah, but having to find me a new school would be hassle. They’d have to fly home and everything. And they hate hassle.’ Becca shoves the scarf back in her bag. ‘So they actually would completely freak out. And I still don’t care. I want to go out.’

‘Look at that,’ Julia says, amused, leaning back on one hand to examine Becca. ‘Look who’s got ballsy all of a sudden. Good for you, Becs.’ She raises the cup. Becca shrugs, embarrassed. ‘Look: I’m so on for an original sin. But could we please make it, like, a good one? Call me a pussy, but getting expelled in exchange for what, exactly? Getting a cold up my gee sitting on a lawn where I can already sit any day I want to? Not exactly my idea of a good time.’

Selena knew Julia would be the hardest to convince. ‘Look,’ she says, ‘I’m scared of getting caught too. My dad wouldn’t care if I got expelled, but my mum would lose her mind. But I’m so sick of being scared of stuff. We need to do something we’re scared of.’

‘I’m not scared. I’m just not stupid. Can’t we just, like, dye our hair purple or—’

‘Totally original,’ Holly says, flicking an eyebrow.

‘Yeah, fuck you. Or have a twitch every time we talk to Houlihan—’

Even to Julia it sounds weaksauce. ‘That’s not scary,’ Becca says. ‘I want something scary.’

‘I liked you better before you grew a pair. Or, I don’t know, Photoshop Menopause McKenna’s head onto a still from “Gangnam Style” and stick it on the—’

‘We’ve already done stuff like that before,’ Selena points out. ‘It has to be different. See? It’s harder than it sounds.’

‘What are we even going to do out there?’