“We’ve tried. I’m sorry. You can say goodbye now, if you’d like. Take as long as you need.”

Before I could process what had just happened, I was alone in the room with Violet. Everything happened so fast, I couldn’t catch my breath. I just stared at her, disoriented.

The wires and tubes were disconnected, her blanket pulled to her chin. She looked asleep, still regal, if disheveled. A queen resting after battle.

I wiped my eyes on the back of my hands. “Please wake up. Please talk to me. I’m not ready to lose you. I love you.”

But for once, she didn’t prove everyone wrong.

“I’m going to miss you so much.”

I stood there and cried. When I felt I could string coherent sentences together, I called Mom. And a minute after we hung up, I could no longer remember what either of us said.

“Miss Wilson?” Juliet stood in the doorway. “Just wanted to remind you that there’s paperwork for you in the office when you’re ready.” She came in and gave me a small box from her pocket. “In case I don’t see you again. Your grandmother ordered these for you.”

I opened the box on autopilot, numb. “The sunflower earrings.” Stars on a black sky. Seconds ticked by before I could say, “Thank you.” I didn’t even bother wiping my eyes anymore, just let the tears fall. “They’re…”

“She said you would like them.” Juliet was crying too as she backed out. “Don’t forget the office.”

I slipped on the earrings. “I’ll treasure them, always.”

Sunflowers are adaptable, Violet had told me not long ago. You plant them somewhere, and they’ll figure out how to grow. They’ll come up in the rich loam of rivers as easily as in arid, poor dirt. The worse the soil, the bigger they flower. They’re scrappy as hell.

I kissed her cheek. “Thank you, Violet.” I straightened her blanket. “I know this is not the end. You’ve just gone ahead to the next party. Save me some champagne.”

A sea of darkness and grief, paperwork, then a car. When I stumbled out in front of Violet’s house at last, hours after her death, I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten there. A search party with dogs and flashlights couldn’t have found an ounce of energy inside me. I was shattered and exhausted.

The driver dropped two suitcases next to me on the sidewalk, one mine, one Violet’s belongings from the center. I didn’t notice when the car left. I couldn’t see past the pain. I didn’t see the people going around me. If anyone said anything—excuse me, or are you okay—I didn’t hear them.