He added, “I was hoping that I could see you again. In a non–dog grooming capacity.”

My breathing went shallow. Needing distance, I walked over to his front window and looked out at the incredible view—there were lights in the valley beneath us for what felt like miles. I found that I wanted to say yes. And that scared me more than anything else.

I didn’t want to date anyone, and for reasons I couldn’t say, Noah Douglas was the absolute last man on earth that I could ever date.

I turned to look at him. “Why?” I asked, having to know at least that. Why me? When he could, quite literally, have anyone? The most beautiful and talented women in the world probably routinely threw themselves at him. There was nothing special or important about me. I was just a regular person living a regular life.

“Why?” he repeated, sounding a little surprised. “Maybe I have a weakness for feisty spitfires who love dogs.”

A large lump of regret formed in my throat. “Oh. Okay. Thank you. But that won’t be possible.” There was absolutely no way. It was such a no. A big no. The no-iest of nos. There was so much no here he would get to cruise through the no express lane.

Now he looked totally bewildered. He came over to the window to stand next to me, and my stomach fluttered at the way the moonlight lovingly bathed his profile. “Can I ask why not?”

“It’s a long and really embarrassing story, and it’s not one that I share with anyone.”

“Not even your best friend?”

“Not even her.” We stood in silence, and I felt compelled to keep explaining. “This really is a hundred percent me. There’s something about me that makes it impossible for me to date.”

I didn’t want to sound overly dramatic, because when you got down to my reason why, it felt stupid: I couldn’t kiss anyone. Whenever I tried, I had these full-on panic attacks. I was absolutely terrified by the idea of kissing, because the first time I’d ever tried it, it had gone unbelievably badly. In a truly humiliating way. No one had hurt me, but I’d so embarrassed myself that apparently I’d been unable to move past it. So relationships, and kissing, were completely off the table for me. The only way to avoid my freak-outs was to avoid being close to someone.

But right now, in this moment? Boy, did Noah Douglas make me want to say yes.