But I didn’t have those words, so I told him what was in my heart. “At Shelby’s wedding I thought . . . I could see myself doing that with you. I saw a future. And I’d never, ever pictured that for my life. I wouldn’t have imagined it to be possible. But I wanted that—to someday be standing next to you and promising to spend the rest of my life loving you. Because I will. Even if you can’t forgive me, I will spend every day from now on being in love with you.”

“You think I didn’t want that, too?” My breath caught, both at his words and his tone. He sounded so wounded that the only thing I wanted was to hug him and make things better.

But all I could do was try to convince him to understand. “I was so scared to be myself with you, to show you all of me. I opened myself up to you, and I don’t do that. Ever.”

“Yeah, well, same. You made a fool of me. I don’t let people take advantage of me. Not anymore. And you did. You took advantage of the trust I placed in you,” he said, his voice fiery.

“I didn’t mean to.” I couldn’t stay on the couch. I stood up and walked over to him and he shifted from left to right, obviously worried that I was going to touch him, so I didn’t. “Can you forgive me?”

He let out a shaky breath. “You think I don’t want to forgive you? You think I don’t want to take you in my arms and pretend it didn’t happen? Because I do.”

My mouth parted in anticipation, that stupid hope of mine encouraging me, and I stepped forward.

He stepped back. “But that’s the problem, Juliet. I can’t. This isn’t about forgiving you. It’s not knowing if I can trust you again.”

I put my hands out, wanting to touch him, but instantly dropped them when I realized what I was doing. So strange how I used to be afraid of touching him, but it had become so vital to me. “You can. I promise I’ll never lie to you again. You . . . spoil Magnus. Your chicken cacciatore is not as good as you think it is. You should not wear the color yellow, because it washes out your complexion. When I was fourteen, that celebrity pillow I kissed and caught my braces on? It was you. Noah, please.”