He framed my face with his hands and just looked at me, and his expression . . . I couldn’t have named it, but it felt soft. It caused a lump in my throat and made my limbs shaky. “I would be gentle and kind and patient for however long you needed it.”

My heart skipped at his words. “I think I like that one the best.”

And my breath caught in anticipation when he reached down and rubbed his nose against mine, breathing me in. The fear was there; I worried the fear would always be there. But it felt different. Manageable. It felt more like an echo than something I had to worry about.

Again, like he could read my mind, he asked, “Are you feeling afraid right now?”

“I’m not going to dignify that with a yes,” I told him. “But, a little bit. Although it’s not like before. This is different. Like it’s changing.”

“I’m glad,” he said.

So was I.

“Come on,” he said, moving to take my hand. “You should be sitting down for this.”

I followed him but said, “Oh, should I?”

“Yes. I noticed what happened last time.”

When my legs had given out on Gladys’s porch? What could I say? He was right.

He led me to the couch in the library and sat us down close together. He was stroking my hair, almost like he was trying to calm me down. To reassure me that everything was fine. I was all pins and needles waiting for him to make his move and kiss me. To see how differently it would feel when he was the one to initiate, how I would react. Especially after all the positive affirmations I’d been doing. Did he know that I’d been looking forward to all of this? Maybe I should tell him.

“Can I confess something?” I asked him. “I thought about this while you were gone.”

“This?” he asked, letting his fingers trail along my jawline, over my ear, down my throat. Everywhere he touched he left behind a trail of goose bumps, like they were chasing his caresses. Then, as if he couldn’t stand waiting any longer, his lips replaced his hand, and all of my bones turned completely liquid. I was just a gelatinous mess, incapable of doing anything other than reveling in what he was doing.

“Uh-huh. I wanted you to touch me just like this. Kiss me like this.”

I both heard and felt his groan against the underside of my jaw. “Do you know how hot that is?”

“Saying what I want?”

“Yes.”