Realizing that suddenly makes how pleasant it is on that roof—warm and sunny with big, puffy white clouds floating slowly above the tops of the bushy, bright-green trees—seem creepy. Makes the hum of the big air-conditioning units threatening. Still, I am so grateful to be away from the shrill scream of that fire alarm, from the heart-twisting smell of that smoke. At least up here there is space to breathe. Even if the freedom is mostly an illusion. And I still believe that there must be some way out. That I came up here for a reason. That I was right to trust my instincts.

I’m still standing with my back pressed against the door when I hear the fire trucks arrive. Even so, not necessarily a real fire, I remind myself. Could be something small that Kelsey started in a trash can. Just smoldering enough to trip the alarm as she bolted down another set of fire stairs.

I inch my way closer to watch them arrive. First one truck, then two more, followed by a red-and-white fire department SUV, and a fire department ambulance, which seems kind of like overkill given that we’re already in a hospital. But the firefighters certainly do seem to be taking things seriously. They leap fast from their trucks, gear on, tools in hand at a full-on jog.

What if I really am trapped on the roof of a burning building, high above the flames? I am pretty sure that is the opposite of the place you are supposed to be in a fire. After Cassie, my mom, what if this is just my turn?

I shudder and push the thought away as I back away from the edge of the building. I try to focus instead on the much more likely thing: me getting caught. I need a good place to hide. Finally, I see a spot that looks promising and tuck myself out of sight between two ventilation units on the far side. Enough of a view to see someone coming, enough space to slip out and run if they do. I’m also a distance from the worst of the air conditioner roar. I’m not sure how much I could take of that sound gnawing away at the inside of my brain.

Waiting on the roof is my plan. Not because it is necessarily the best plan, but because it is the only one that I can think of. The firefighters will need to make sure that the fire is out first. At some point, all the girls will be brought back up the steps and into the common room and there will be a check to see if everyone is accounted for. Only then will they notice me missing. In there is a window, a narrow one. I will have a few minutes probably, five or maybe ten, to get from the roof, down and out the door.