I’m feeling even more unsteady as I make my way back toward the bed and spot Kelsey’s copy of 1984 on my bureau. I put it down in the common room before I went after Kendall. Kelsey came back and left it for me while I was sleeping? That’s awfully insistent. I pick the book up as I make my way to the bed.

I need to call my dad again. Need to talk to Jasper. For either I’ll need Dr. Haddox’s permission, otherwise the Wolf will surely stop me again. But will Dr. Haddox be on my side anymore? I’ve tried to run for a second time. I’ve made him feel bad for having to drug me again. People can hold their guilt against you.

Still, I have no choice but to try. I’ll just need to march out to the common room and demand to see Dr. Haddox. And I will right after I’ve worked myself up for another fight. I take a deep breath, exhaling as I flip absentmindedly through the pages of Kelsey’s book.

And then my heart catches.

There’s handwriting. Notes all over the pages of Kelsey’s copy of 1984. The word BLOCKING, and under that, a list in all caps and dark print, deep grooves left by a ballpoint pen. BELIEVE THE LIE is number one.

My hands tremble as I turn the pages—two parts scared, one part relieved. I’ve already glimpsed enough to know that what’s written in the pages completes a loop. It explains why Kelsey was so hard to read and the way she was looking at me. Like we shared a secret.

I flip randomly through the pages, trying to figure out where to start. I settle on page 83. In the margin, there’s a date: June 12, and a one-line entry as if from a diary:

I knew you were going to start crying before you actually did.

It’s signed K. Kelsey doing the writing, probably. I don’t know for sure who the you is yet. The next entry is from June 21.

I knew Mommy and Daddy were going to have a fight before Daddy got home. I knew that Daddy would tell a lie during the fight about his job. But that Mommy would believe him.