“That’s like saying the Titanic experienced some engine trouble. This is the screw-up to end all screw-ups. Ash, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but we’re going to figure it out together. I’ve made an appointment with Dr. Garrett tomorrow, and we’re all going to sit down and discuss what’s going on. You’re going to start a new treatment plan, which will include returning to Narcotics Anonymous. Four meetings a week. Not to mention you’re grounded for a month to start. Yes, you screwed up today. That doesn’t mean I love you any less. All today tells me is we have to work a bit harder to make sure we’re okay.”

Ash shook her head. This was too much. It was all too much. “No. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve any of this.” She went to stand. Becca reached out and grabbed her.

“That’s not true. You know that’s not true. You deserve all good things.”

Ash went quiet, her eyes lingering on the floor. When she looked up, there were tears in her eyes. “Becca. I want this. I want you to be my mom,” Ash said. Becca reached out and grabbed Ash, hugging her tightly.

In the early days, Ash wasn’t used to physical expressions of love. Faye had a firm “no hugging” policy. It didn’t matter the situation. Skinned knees, monsters camped out under the bed, the neighbor’s terrifying Great Dane, her mother deemed Ash unworthy. “Shitheads don’t get rewarded for bad behavior,” she liked to say.

Becca was different. At first, Ash thought it was phony, the enthusiasm with which Becca approached absolutely everything. The more time she spent with her, the more she saw that everything Becca did was a hundred percent authentic. Even today, even after Ash’s giant fuckup, she wasn’t letting go of Ash, holding on to Ash tightly.

Tell her. Do it now. The steady drumbeat in Ash’s head continued. It would be a relief in so many ways to unburden herself. Becca would leap into action the way she always did when something or someone needed to be fixed. She would figure out what really happened to Eli, and she would make sure Nate was safe and that Mo and the others couldn’t hurt him or anyone else. She would protect Ash. That’s what Becca did best.

“Are you hungry? I’m thinking burgers on the grill? We can eat outside?” Becca said.

Ash was shocked. She expected the silent treatment or nonstop lectures. The fact that Becca was willing to forgive her meant everything. Since she’d found out about Eli and Mo, Ash’s stomach had been tied up in knots, her insides twisting and churning. Suddenly her appetite came roaring back.

“I’m starving. I’ll prep the grill,” Ash said, slipping out the back door into the garden, willing herself not to cry. If she told Becca the truth now, she could ruin this. I’ll tell her tomorrow. I’ll tell her everything.

Ash reached into the pocket of her hoodie for her phone, staring at Nate’s name on the screen. All Ash ever wanted was a family, someone to look after her, and now she finally had one. As much as she loved Nate, she couldn’t screw this up.