No problem. Nina lived and died by that theory. On a good day so did Becca. Right now all she could think about were the weeks and months it took for Ash to get clean. Not to mention the other sacrifices Becca made: her marriage, the fights with her mother, the endless worry that kept her awake most nights. It was all worth it to see Ash thriving. Two years clean and sober. Two years.

Becca wanted to shake her. Why throw it all away? Why? Yet she understood there were so many reasons why addicts relapsed. Coping with an addict was like riding a wave. If Becca allowed herself to get pulled into the undertow, they’d both be swept up. No, she had to stay calm and focused. She darted a glance at Raya still sitting in the back of the cruiser. Nina was one step ahead.

“I’ll drop you at the station and talk to the officer. Then I can take Raya to the mission and make sure she’s good.”

Becca nodded gratefully. The sooner she could see Ash the better. First, though, she had to brief Raya on what to expect. The hardest part for mental health patients who found themselves in the system was the lack of control. Becca always tried to provide as much information as she could. Restoring the balance of power, she liked to say. She opened the car door, and Raya sat up straighter, tears in her eyes. Becca knelt down so they were face-to-face.

“Hey, Raya, we got you a bed over at Downtown Mission. We need to drop by the station, and then my partner will take you and get you settled, and I’ll check back in tomorrow. We’ll set up a meeting with a social worker, discuss long-term housing options. Okay?” Becca said.

“Sure. Sounds swell,” Raya said flatly. This was where Becca was supposed to say something encouraging and consoling, but all she could think about was Ash. She patted Raya’s leg and gently shut the door. Becca climbed into the passenger’s seat as Nina sped away, lights and sirens flashing. As she drove, Nina reached out and squeezed Becca’s hand. “Ash is a good kid. Whatever happened, you’ll get through it,” she said encouragingly. Becca nodded, wanting to believe that was true. Her phone buzzed. She reached into her bag and unearthed it, a text message appearing on screen. Becca gasped, staring back at the text in disbelief.

“Are you okay?” Nina asked.

“I’m fine,” Becca said, though that wasn’t true at all. The text was from Louise, Ash’s social worker. BIG NEWS! Ash’s birth mother relinquished all parental rights. We can finally proceed with the adoption process. Congratulations to you both!

Becca might have laughed if it weren’t so goddamn ironic. She could feel the panic rising. Deep breaths. Deep, calming breaths. It would be easy to start thinking the worst. That her mother was right and Ash was nothing but trouble. That she’d gambled her future on a lost cause. That, despite all her efforts, she had failed Ash somehow. Becca shook her head. She couldn’t let those thoughts consume her. She certainly couldn’t give up now. Not after they’d come so far. From the start, Becca had promised Ash she would never stop fighting for her. Nothing was going to change that. Nothing at all.