The door opened again—the sounds distant, the voices underwater. Bri only vaguely noted that Rua and Remy had walked in. They didn’t say anything as they stalked over and sat on the other side of Bri. Rua pulled her knees to her chest, hugging her legs and staring out over the room. It was the same position she’d sat in on the floor of her tent on the ice lake encampment, except Rua had been the one crying then and Bri was the stalwart light in her tempest.

The room filled with the sound of her wet, sniffing breaths. A weighted silence. And they’d never know truly what it meant to her, to have them sit there and listen to her cry. Sitting there in that stillness spoke straight into the deepest parts of her soul: We’re here. We see you. We won’t let you fall.

Bri released Carys and dropped her head into her hands. She spat onto the floor, the metallic tang of blood in her mouth as she wrung out the poisonous pain that coursed through her body.

It was something far more primal than logic or words—so overwhelming, so all-consuming—this feeling that seemed to split her soul in two. She’d never felt anything like it. Not with Aurella. Not ever. It was as if someone had carved a hole in the center of her chest, an aching, gaping wound so sharp she could scarcely breathe. She panted more gasps of air, trying to regain control. Her knuckles dripped blood onto her trouser leg, but her friends didn’t move, only sat silently beside her, permitting that moment to wash herself of the agony.

The minutes rolled on, each tormenting wave cresting and then ebbing until finally she lifted her head with a sniff. At that subtle movement, Carys rose, disappearing into the bathing chamber and returning with a wet cloth. She took Bri’s hand and held the cold compress to her swollen knuckles. Despite the stinging, Bri didn’t so much as flinch.

“You must think I’m an idiot,” Bri muttered, looking at Rua through wet lashes.

Rua raised her eyebrows. “Wasn’t it me saying the same thing to you not so many weeks ago?”

“We can take turns.” Remy huffed, slinging her arm around her sister. “Just so long as we don’t all fall apart at once, I think we’ll be okay.”

“Agreed.” Tears sprung to Bri’s eyes again. She rubbed the heel of her palm against her chest. “Gods, it hurts.”

They all knew she didn’t mean her hand.

“I understand,” Carys said, her voice wobbling.

Bri glanced at her, knowing she was speaking of Ersan—a wound within her that even after several years had never truly healed. Bri wondered if thinking of this moment would make her own voice crack and bring tears to her eyes forever.