She just stood there, looking at me anxiously. Neither of us spoke for what felt like minutes. Then she shook her head. “I’m sorry. I …” She took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled. “I couldn’t really invite some strange man into my home.”

“The picture in my room …”

“That was taken three weeks before he was killed. Three years ago.”

“How was he killed?”

“Working. He was in a combine accident. He went to work one day and never came back.”

Suddenly everything made sense. Her interest in McKale. Our discussion about losing a loved one suddenly or over time. Her son’s behavior.

“How is your son dealing with it?”

“He’s very angry. I think he blames me sometimes. I know it’s not rational, but he’s a kid.”

“How are you taking it?”

She shook her head. “Not well. You know what it’s like. I can see why you would want to walk away. It’s been hard living here in this little town.”

“Why don’t you move?”

“I have no place to go. My friends are all here or in Tabor, and my siblings are all in the same financial boat that I’m in. My parents can’t help. They lost their farm a few years ago and are now living on welfare in Omaha. I would be too if it wasn’t for Matt’s parents. We didn’t have any life insurance. Matt said it was just a waste of money, since his parents have so much money and if anything happened, they’d take care of us.”

“And they do?”

“Yes. But it comes at a price. They won’t let me leave.”

“How can they stop you?”

“How can they not? If I leave, they’ll cut me off.”

“They told you that?”

“Directly,” she said.

“Could you sell your house?”

She shook her head. “Not in this market. Believe me, there’s not a lot of people moving into Sidney. Besides, my in-laws own the house. We borrowed the money from them.” She sighed. “I’m stuck. I have no skills, so I’d be working full-time just to survive in some dingy apartment while someone else raised my kids.”

“I don’t mean to be crass, but you could remarry.”

“Not in Sidney. The men are either married, twice my age, or there’s a clear reason why they’re not married. I’d just be trading one problem for another.”

“So you’re stuck.”