He looked at me, but didn’t answer. He’d been panting, trying to keep the panic at bay. I answered the questions the paramedic asked me on the way. How old was he? Any allergies? I didn’t know much about emergency medicine, but I knew my brother’s blood pressure was low and dropping.

At the apartment, waiting for help, I’d done my best to hold direct pressure on the wound that was on his upper chest, almost to his shoulder. Just like I’d been taught in the Navy. I didn’t think the bullet had caught a lung. That didn’t mean my brother’s color or respiration looked good.

I’d been in the waiting area outside the emergency room at the hospital in Newburgh for about two hours when my mom hobbled in on crutches with Alicia trailing behind her.

She continued on her crutches, unchallenged into the emergency room. Alicia didn’t know what to do, so I followed her. My mom stopped short of surgery.

My mom said in a loud voice, “Someone tell me what’s going on. I’m still a customer. That means I’m going to be very demanding.”

I heard one of the orderlies behind me mumble, “What else is new?”

A nurse, about my mom’s age, stepped over and put a gentle hand on her back. She said, “Elaine, if you’re a customer, you can’t be back here. Your son’s in surgery and they’re doing everything they can.”

What happened next was a real shock to me. My mom started to cry. Not just a sniffle or a tear, but a sob. Followed by more. The nurse wrapped her in a loving hug and patted her back.

After a few seconds, the nurse steered her toward me. I held her and let her cry on my shoulder. I could count the number of times I’d heard my mother cry during my entire life. And never like this.

Once we sat down, Alicia sat next to me and took hold of my hand. Then she let her head drop onto my shoulder. It was a quick slice of heaven. Then she said, “I have to clean up. My shift will start soon. I’ll come by to visit as soon as I can.” She kissed me on the lips. I tried to calculate the kiss. It was more than a peck and not a full-on girlfriend kiss. It was enough for now. She managed to energize me when I thought I might not make it through the night.

Almost an hour later, in the waiting room, Bill and a couple of Newburgh detectives came to talk to me. Bill was good about getting me away from my mother. Very patient and calm.

My mom said, “Can’t you talk to him here? I don’t want to be alone.”