“It is not very Nadirii of me, but he is handsome. He has…has…well, he has a manner about him that is unique. I simply enjoy watching him walk or contemplating his face when he is thinking. I would give that to a son. Or I would watch Chu teach a son to be thus.”

“And you worry because of his…issues he will refuse this.”

She didn’t reply.

“Tell him how badly you want it,” I advised.

“There are reasons behind why this is not what he wants. Reasons that I cannot deny, especially for him.”

“I am certain,” I replied. “I still think, if this is something you want badly, Serena, that you should talk to him.”

“I do not want…”

She didn’t finish that.

“You do not want?” I prompted.

She still didn’t share.

“If you don’t wish to talk about it,” I murmured.

Again, she gave me her gaze. “I almost lost him once for doing something he did not like. I do not want to lose him again.”

Ah.

Understandable, but not recommendable.

“That is no union,” I told her gently.

She stared at me.

“He cannot have all he wishes just because you desire greatly not to lose him,” I told her. “You will lose too much of yourself in that and either become a shadow of what you once were, or your love for him will dim before it entirely fades away as you begin to hate him for the things you cannot have, for you have given so much to him.”

Her gaze drifted down to the mane of her mount.

“Serena,” I called, and watched as it took some effort, but she again looked to me. “I do not know Chu hardly at all,” I said. “But from what I have seen, especially when he is with you, he strikes me as a man who not only would want to know your desires, but also would be willing to discuss them with you.”

She thought on this a moment before she replied, “This likely matters not, depending on what might befall us as we fight the Beast.”

“This is true, but trust me, my friend, it is in the now that you must establish how you will communicate with the one you love. I did not do that with Aramus, and we wasted months of our marriage to anger and frustration. And now, we face…”

“Ha-Lah,” she murmured when I was unable to continue.

I lifted my chin. “I believe in my heart we will succeed. I must. There would be no point going on if I did not. But this does not mean I do not think about that not happening, and in doing so, regret the time I wasted having the man I loved and not talking to him.”