Sharon memorised catchphrases that were well-used among the masses and peppered her speeches with them. She taunted her political opponent and claimed that the crafty man employed “pattern more than badminton”. She cringed inwardly when she spouted the asinine phrase but the crowd loved it and cheered. She would have loved to coin the term Machiavellian, but the word would be lost on her audience. The Overees were right. It was a different ballgame soliciting votes from people who formed the bulge in the bell curve of intelligence quotient. To showcase her brilliance would only alienate them.

So Sharon continued to speak the language of the masses. She claimed that she would run the estate maintenance of her constituency efficiently such that “swee swee bo zhao zui”, which in Hokkien meant that it was “so nice that there is no leakage of water”. By voting her in, they would guarantee themselves a reliable representative who was “woon woon jiak bee hoon”, or “steady like eating vermicelli”. Although she secretly found many of these rhyming phrases moronic, the audience lapped them up. So Sharon continued to show her teeth when she smiled and spoke the language of the populace and for that, the electorate of her constituency voted her into parliament.

As far as Sharon was concerned, the real bonus was her engineered transfer from the Economic Development Board to Temasak Holdings prior to the election; she could not have contested as a civil servant. It was a dream come true working for one of the biggest sovereign funds in the world. She had to believe that the Overees were her lucky stars!

Sharon reached the airport arrival hall at four o’clock sharp. The two security officers who were there to receive Elvis spotted her coming down the escalator and quickly came forward to take her garment bag. They informed her that the flight from Cebu had touched down and that Elvis should be clearing customs in no time.

Sharon whipped out her mobile phone to check her messages. There was one from Masri bin Khairuman. Masri was a university undergraduate who volunteered his services as a grassroots leader at her constituency. She had tasked him to keep a lookout for any social media postings that concerned her. He had sent a message with a YouTube link and a sad face emoji.

Sharon had an inkling, even before she clicked on the link, that someone would have posted a clip of her awkward “sexy” dance routine at the Sunflower Retirement Home this morning, and she was right. To her dismay, the viewer comments ran the gamut from ridicule to outright malice.

“What a clown! She dances like a retard.”

“Election is long over. Will you stop wasting time kissing babies and dancing with retirees, and go do your job already?”