“Oh my god.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“God that sucks.”

“You couldn’t have done anything differently.”

“I just didn’t know what to do.”

“That’s, oh my god, that’s such an intense story. Listen, if you’d like, if you’re ready, we have a newsletter that you could write something up in. Because that was also kind of beautiful. Like in a way. I don’t know . . .”

“Thanks, Allen, I’d love that, thanks. I thought you all might, well . . . Oh, and I got fired, by the way, it’s one of the reasons I came here.”

“Yeah, they can’t stand having anyone stand up to them.”

“I wasn’t. At the time I wasn’t trying to do anything like that, but yeah, I feel that way now.”

“Wait Jim, you were at UMass too?”

“No, I was here at NYU. Have been for three years. Her backstory is more elaborate.”

“Oh, right, right, okay.”

“And how do you two know each other?”

“Oh, let’s just tell them. So Jim and I have been dating for a couple months now. Ever since I moved here, we met and it was like—bam! That’s it. Keep trying to change how he dresses though.”

“You guys are suuuch a cute couple.”

“Oh thank you, thank you. We hear that all the time. No need to be embarrassed, Jim.”

“Oh, guys, I made vegan muffins!”

“Achoo!”

“Bless you, Carol.”