Anyone who knew Violet well could see that her mind was not really on what Mr. Poe was saying, because her long hair was tied up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes. Violet was an inventor, and when she was thinking up inventions she liked to tie her hair up this way. It helped her think clearly about the various gears, wires, and ropes involved in most of her creations.

“After living so long in the city,” Mr. Poe continued, “I think you will find the coun-tryside to be a pleasant change. Oh, here is the turn.

We’re almost there.”

“Good,” Klaus said quietly. Klaus, like many people on car rides, was very bored, and he was sad not to have a book with him.

Klaus loved to read, and at approximately twelve years of age had read more books than many people read in their whole lives.

Sometimes he read well into the night, and in the morning could be found fast asleep, with a book in his hand and his glasses still on.

“I think you’ll like Dr. Montgomery, too,”

Mr. Poe said. “He has traveled a great deal, so he has plenty of stories to tell. I’ve heard his house is filled with things he’s brought from all the places he’s been.”

“Bax!” Sunny shrieked. Sunny, the

youngest of the Baudelaire orphans, often talked like this, as infants tend to do. In fact, besides biting things with her four very sharp teeth, speaking in fragments was how Sunny spent most of her time. It was often difficult to tell what she meant to say. At this moment she probably meant something along the lines of “I’m nervous about meeting a new relative.” All three children were.

“How exactly is Dr. Montgomery related to us?” Klaus asked.

“Dr. Montgomery is—let me see—your

late father’s cousin’s wife’s brother. I think that’s right. He’s a scientist of some sort, and receives a great deal of money from the gov-ernment.” As a banker, Mr. Poe was always interested in money.

“What should we call him?” Klaus asked.

“You should call him Dr. Montgomery,”

Mr. Poe replied, “unless he tells you to call him Montgomery. Both his first and last names are Montgomery, so it doesn’t really make much difference.”

“His name is Montgomery Montgomery?”

Klaus said, smiling.

“Yes, and I’m sure he’s very sensitive about that, so don’t ridicule him,” Mr. Poe said, coughing again into his handkerchief. “‘Ridicule’ means ‘tease.’”

Klaus sighed. “I know what ‘ridicule’ means,” he said. He did not add that of course he also knew not to make fun of someone’s name. Occasionally, people thought that because the orphans were unfortunate, they were also dim-witted.