“How are you? Where are you? I called your mama, but she said you moved and if you wanted to tell me what was going on, you would. Then she said I’m supposed to convince you to go back home.”

A small laugh burst through the lump in my throat.

“Yeah, she’s been on my case.”

“Hold on a sec.” She was quiet for a few moments. “Sorry, had to grab the baby monitor. Peyton decided to take a morning nap, and I didn’t want to drop the phone on the hardwood and wake him up. Done that before. Never again.”

“Of course.” I forced a smile, like she could see me. Peyton Carter Bateman. Her son was named after Will and her sister, Peyton. Because in her mind—hell in everyone’s—Will had always been Peyton’s to love. Paisley’s to grieve.

Never mine.

That sick feeling I’d done everything to avoid slapped me in the face, and I felt a rending in my heart, the meticulous stitches I’d been sewing since I got here popping one by one, ripping chunks of my soul out to bleed anew.

“So, where did you move to? What’s going on?” She sighed. “This hurts something awful—the rift I can feel between us—and I don’t know what I did, or what I can do to fix it.”

“I’m fine. We’re fine,” I lied.

“We’re not! You haven’t picked up a single one of my calls since Sam’s wedding, and that was three months ago, so don’t tell me that nothing is wrong, because I can’t remember the last time we went three months without speaking.”

I could. It was after Will’s funeral, but I wasn’t about to go there. Lies. Fake smiles. I was so sick of it all. She was my best and oldest friend. I could do this. I could ask her for what I needed, but it was impossible not to hurt her in the process.

“I bought a beach house in Cape Hatteras. It’s a wreck, but so am I, so we fit rather nicely. Will—” My throat tightened, and I reached for my coffee, taking a quick swallow before starting again. “He left me a secondary life insurance policy and his truck, among some other things.”

Her indrawn breath—just shy of a gasp—made me pause.

“I…I didn’t know he did that.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t know everything.” The little sarcastic laugh flew past my lips before I could stop it. This was going to go to shit if I couldn’t rein in my mouth.

“I never thought I did,” she said softly. “You know, Cape Hatteras is only a drive away—”

My anxiety hit the panic button.