She took my hand. “Call it what you want. Whatever you feel, if it’s bigger than your fear, then you grab onto it with both hands and you don’t let go.”

“But what’s the point? What if I do, and I’m not enough for him? What if I can’t let go of the past? What if…” I sighed.

She pinned me down with her gaze. “What if you don’t learn from that past?”

I startled. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh, Morgan.” She squeezed my hand gently. “There is someone who loves you. And he tells you every day, and you can’t accept him because you’re scared. Scared that you don’t have a whole heart to give him. Scared that you won’t be able to love him in the way he deserves. And he challenges you, and he pulls you out of your comfort zone, and the chemistry between you is obvious to anyone with eyes, and when your chance for happiness is staring you in the face, you push it away and blame the timing. You push him away because if you let yourself love him, and he dies, you won’t survive burying him. You know because you’ve done it before. You’ve buried the love of your life, and you’ll be damned if you’ll risk that kind of pain again.” She stared at me, daring me not to connect the dots.

“Oh God,” I cried, crumpling in on myself as the pain of my own ignorance cut me to the core.

I’d worked so hard to protect myself from feeling another loss like Will’s that I’d become just like him, but instead of my heart being on the line—it was Jackson’s.

…

My first day of school, there were two dozen roses on my desk from Jackson. The note was simple:

Today it begins. And yes, I’m singing “Hot for Teacher” all day long. X Jackson

I scoffed, then laughed. The man never outright called, but he made his presence known in every way. He was tenacious. I’d give him that.

Next to those glorious roses sat a small vase containing a single gerbera daisy. He didn’t have to tell me what to do with it.

While my students had to wait outside for the bell to signal the beginning of the day, the kindergarten kids were allowed in fifteen minutes earlier, and we were in that window. I took the flower down the hall, smiling at the other teachers and adjusting my lanyard so they could see I was one of them.

I still wasn’t sure who the hell decided I was mature enough to be a teacher, but I’d fake it until I made it.