Sam stood and backed away, staying by the edge of the foyer. She never went far after I’d had an attack.

“This is over,” I said softly. “I won’t do another deployment. I won’t take another phone call. I won’t bury another man I—” I snapped my mouth shut. God, when were the meds going to kick in?

“Love,” he accused. “You love me.”

I locked my jaw and dropped my gaze.

“Fine. Well, I love you, even if you won’t say it, and I’m not giving you up. It’s only three months, Morgan. Nothing will change in three months.”

“Try three days,” I whispered. “I’m not ready for this. I’m not strong enough for this. I will not do this. Do you know what happens when no one chooses you?”

“Kitty, that’s not what this is,” he whispered.

“You learn to choose yourself. And that’s what I’m doing. I’m choosing me. I’m choosing no anxiety attacks. No deployment. No…” My face crumpled, and I fought the tears that stung my eyes.

“No me.” His mouth tightened as he fought for emotional control.

“If you love me, you’ll go.”

He flinched.

“You won’t ask me to do this. You won’t ask me to stay with you, knowing the cost is this happening to me every. Single. Day. You won’t ask me to undo everything I’ve fought so hard for.” Air flew freely through my throat, and the ache lessened.

“Morgan, no. God, please.” He clenched his hands but didn’t reach for me.

One touch was all it would take to break my resolve, and I couldn’t let that happen. Not unless I wanted to dive right back into daily attacks, and if I had to go through another deployment…that’s exactly where I’d be.

“Jackson, if you love me as much as you say you do, you will walk out that door and you won’t come back. You’ll let me heal. You’ll let me go.”

Despair. Conflict. Anger. Frustration. Defeat. They all visited his face in the span of thirty seconds—some twice. I gripped my knees to keep from grabbing him as he stood. I locked my jaw to keep from begging him to stay.

He walked to the door and then through it but turned around once he was on the deck. “I love you more than any torture you could ever ask of me. So, if I love you enough to walk away, can’t you love me enough to stay?”

The last stitches in my heart ripped free, and my damage bled out all over me. “I never said I loved you.” It was barely a whisper, but he heard it.

“Right. I guess you didn’t.” His expression would haunt my dreams for as long as I lived.