The edges of my vision blurred, and his words all jumbled together.

“I wish we had better timing, but I have to deploy.”

My heart beat like a bass drum.

“It’s just three months, Kitty. That’s all. Three months and I’m back. Three months and then we have forever.”

“I mean, how hard could it be for us to wait nine months, considering how long we’ve been dancing around this?”

It was impossible to blink free of his voice. Couldn’t shove the memory back in the cassette tape and store it like I’d been taught by Dr. Circe. I ripped my hand from Jackson’s and pressed my fingers to my temples. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

“Shit. Babe, I can’t imagine how this sounds to you, but it’s nothing like what you’re thinking.” Jackson reached for me, but I leaned away from his touch. “I’m just going somewhere else to do the same job I do here. That’s all. Just flying.”

“It won’t be that bad, so I don’t want you to worry, which I know you will anyway, but flying is flying no matter where you do it.”

I slammed my eyes shut and tried to steady my breathing. This wasn’t happening. It wasn’t possible.

“Morgan, honey—”

“You said you couldn’t go!” I shouted, the sound echoing off the tile floors. “You told me that because of Finley, you couldn’t go!”

When he reached for me again, I slid off my stool and stumbled backward until my back hit the island.

“No, Kitty.” There was so much pain in his eyes. “I said that I had a family care plan, but the captain decided to leave me behind because of Finley. It was a decision made for both the needs of the unit and compassion. Being a single parent doesn’t get you out of deployments.”

That fucking word was the bane of my existence. I gripped the edge of the counter to stay upright.

“And Captain Patterson knows Claire is back, so I’m not parenting by myself. The entire reason I was being left behind no longer exists.” His jaw ticked, and I knew there were parts of that conversation he was leaving out.

“But if Hastings can’t fly?” God, there had to be a way out of this, right? I couldn’t do this again. It wasn’t even in the realm of possibility.

Jackson rose from the stool but stayed a couple feet away. “The guys from Elizabethtown will cover it. We’re just an offshoot of them, anyway.”

Something soft twined between my ankles. Juno.

“Have you told Finley?”

Jackson shook his head and smashed his lips in a flat line. “I told you first.” He took the bottle of water from the counter and slammed the rest of it back, then crushed it in his fist. “I can’t imagine what you’re thinking right now.”