I slid my hands down the steering wheel and inhaled the scent of leather into my lungs.

“I don’t know if I can be what you want or what you need. There are parts of me that are permanently broken, and I don’t know if they’ll ever work quite right. The only thing I do know is that I’m never going to stop wondering about the what-ifs if we don’t give this a shot, because it’s been six months, and I swear I can still taste that kiss, Morgan.”

“Morgan. Are you sure you want to do this?” Sam asked again.

I blinked my way out of the memory and glanced up at the wings he’d left pinned to the visor. “Nope. I’m not sure,” I answered Sam as honestly as I could.

“Okay, well, let’s be certain before you put this monster in drive, because I might love you, but I’m not willing to die because you think you’re ready to skip ahead in your homework and joyride.” She sent me an eyebrow raise that told me she was serious. “I have four months until I see my husband, and I intend on being there when he gets off that plane.”

Her voice caught with those last words, and my hand reached for hers. Last night had been rough. There had been reports of an Apache crash in Afghanistan, and while the media had reported all the facts but the names, the soldiers had been on blackout—all internet and phone services shut down—so those names wouldn’t be leaked until the next of kin could be notified. That meant hours of waiting, staring at our phones. Staring at our door.

The crash hit the news around noon.

Grayson didn’t get a chance to call until two a.m.

“You’re so much stronger than I am.” I squeezed her hand.

She scoffed and blew off the compliment. “I haven’t been through what you have. Not in the same way. I don’t know how Ember and Paisley ever let those boys fly after what happened.”

“I have no clue.” They were stronger than I was, too. All of them. But I was getting stronger. Every day. “You’re really okay after last night?”

“Yeah. I’m just heartbroken for those aviators and their families.”

“Me, too.” We may not have gotten the knock at our door, but someone had.

She forced a smile, but there was zero joy. “But I don’t want to think about it, so I’m not going to. Besides, we’re sitting in here for you.”

“So I can constantly lay out my emotional baggage, but you don’t have to?” I lifted my eyebrows as I teased her.