"You know what, I'm done here." Aaron put his hands up and turned away. "I'll be in the food court when you guys are finished."

"Stop being a bad influence," Kevin told Nicky. "I am going to make him Court. It'll be easier if he remains heterosexual. You know more than any of us how prejudiced people can be. Imagine the impact it would have on his career."

"We aren't really having this conversation," Neil said.

Nicky clapped his hands to either side of Neil's head as if trying to shield Neil from their argument. It didn't really work, as he missed Neil's ears completely. "You worry about Neil's career. I'll worry about his personal happiness. Come on, Kevin. Even you have to admit this is really weird."

Andrew threw his hands up. "Newsflash, Nicky: Neil isn't normal!"

"This is beyond abnormal."

"I am standing right here," Neil said, "and I can hear you."

Nicky sighed dramatically and let go. "Fine, fine. Take a cheerleader if you want to."

"I'm not taking anyone," Neil said. "I don't even want to go to this thing."

"Do you have any idea how pathetic it is showing up stag to an event like this?"

"Are you bringing someone?" Neil asked, surprised. "What about Erik?"

"He's in Germany," Nicky said. "Yeah, I'm bringing a date, but I'm not going to date the guy. I just want someone to go and have fun with. You know, fun? That thing people have sometimes? You two are impossible."

Neil looked at Andrew, but it was Kevin who answered. "It's none of your business."

"Three," Neil said. "Allison."

Two words killed Nicky's good humor. Neil refused to feel bad about it after everything Nicky had just said about him, but he didn't feel vindicated, either. Nicky muttered under his breath and left to look at shirts further down the aisle. Neil turned his attention back to the slacks hanging in front of him, but he couldn't concentrate. He pushed a couple hangers around without paying attention to size or cuts and looked up at Kevin.

"Would you take her?"

He thought maybe he was as surprised by the question as the two men now staring at him. Neil fidgeted with the hangers but refused to look away from Kevin. "She and Seth were excited to go. It was all they could talk about when we had lunch together. Now she's going to go and he won't be there."

"That's a cheap way out," Andrew supplied with a bright, mocking smile. "Getting someone else to clean up behind your mess? Oh, Neil. Do better than that next time, won't you? You're boring when your tail's between your legs."

"Fuck you," Neil said. "Your theory is still just that: a theory. When you prove it—"

"What, it'll miraculously make it easier for you to look Allison in the eyes?" Andrew feigned shock. "When I prove it, it puts a target on Seth's back and a paintbrush in your hands. Rethink that a bit, would you?"