‘We are not promised to marry till next year,’ I said. ‘I’m not ready to marry yet.’

‘Oh, not again,’ said my father.

‘All girls think that,’ said Mrs Carpenter.

Daniel said nothing.

I slid down from my stool. ‘May we talk privately?’ I asked.

‘Go into the printing room,’ my father recommended Daniel. ‘Your mother and I will take a glass of wine out here.’

He poured more wine for her and I caught her amused smile as Daniel and I went into the inside room where the big press stood.

‘Mr Dee tells me that I will lose the Sight if I marry,’ I said earnestly. ‘He believes it is a gift from God, I cannot throw it away.’

‘It is guesswork and waking dreams,’ Daniel said roundly.

It was so close to my own opinion that I could hardly argue. ‘It is beyond our understanding,’ I said stoutly. ‘Mr Dee wants me to be his scryer. He is an alchemist and he says . . .’

‘It sounds like witchcraft. When Prince Philip of Spain comes to England, John Dee will be tried for a witch.’

‘He won’t. It’s holy work. He prays before and after scrying. It’s a holy spiritual task.’

‘And what have you learned, so far?’ he asked sarcastically.

I thought of all the secrets I had known already, the child who would not be a child, the virgin but not queen, the queen but no virgin, and the safety and glory which would come to my lord. ‘There are secrets I cannot tell you,’ I said, and then I added: ‘And that is another reason that I cannot be your wife. There should not be secrets between man and wife.’

He turned away with an exclamation of irritation. ‘Don’t be clever with me,’ he said. ‘You have insulted me before my mother and before your father by saying you don’t want to marry at all. Don’t come in here with me and try to be clever about going back on your word. You are so full of trickery that you will talk yourself out of happiness and into heartbreak.’

‘How should I be happy if I have to be a nothing?’ I asked. ‘I am the favourite of Queen Mary, I am highly paid. I could take bribes and favours to the value of hundreds of pounds. I am trusted by the queen herself. The greatest philosopher in the land thinks I have a gift from God to foretell the future. And you think my happiness lies in walking away from all this to marry an apprentice physician!’

He caught my hands, which were twisting together, and pulled me towards him. His breath was coming as quickly as my own. ‘Enough,’ he said angrily. ‘You have insulted me enough, I think. You need not marry an apprentice physician. You can be Robert Dudley’s whore or his tutor’s adept. You can think yourself the queen’s companion but everyone knows you as the fool. You make yourself less than what I would offer you. You could be the wife of an honourable man who would love you and instead you throw yourself into the gutter for any passerby to pick up.’