BooksBarbecue
Back The Progeny Save as PDF
Chapters (50)
  1. Dedication
  2. THE CENTER
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. 3
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. 7
  10. 8
  11. 9
  12. 10
  13. 11
  14. 12
  15. 13
  16. 14
  17. 15
  18. 16
  19. 17
  20. 18
  21. 19
  22. 20
  23. 21
  24. 22
  25. 23
  26. 24
  27. 25
  28. 26
  29. 27
  30. 28
  31. 29
  32. 30
  33. 31
  34. 32
  35. 33
  36. 34
  37. 35
  38. 36
  39. 37
  40. 38
  41. 39
  42. 40
  43. 41
  44. 42
  45. 43
  46. 44
  47. 45
  48. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  49. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  50. Copyright

I couldn’t stay long enough in Bratislava. I’m running out of time so fast, the sun’s practically moving from west to east . . .

I don’t know how I’m going to bring it up to Luka. I know what I think I have to do. It isn’t selfish—it’s maybe the least selfish thing you’ll ever have done. And now that I think back, we were pretty selfish even just a year ago.

I’m so sad. I’m going to treasure these beautiful, beautiful hours. Do you know what Luka said to me before I left?

“I love you more every day. When you go to bed tonight, know that you’ll be even more loved tomorrow.”

The last night I was with him before I left, he sighed against my neck and said he loved the smell of me. And I understand what he means, because sometimes I wish I could inhale him, breathe him into my cells.

Now all of that is going away. I have never cried this hard.

I flip to the next page. It’s the last in the journal.

Audra,

So here we are. I’m at a crossroads, and you, reading this, are where I was months ago. Different date, same person . . . same impossibility.

Life is beautiful, Audra. I know it doesn’t seem like it, with everything. But it is. And it is new. Katia said something the last time I saw her that I will never forget (or I will, so I write it here): Heaven doesn’t come tomorrow. It’s here now. You don’t have to die to get there.

I hope I don’t lose that thought along with everything else. They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die . . . I really hope it does.

I’m writing another note after this one. It’s for you. It’ll be the first one you get from me. With hope, the only one. It’s short and sweet (miracle, isn’t it?). I can’t say everything I want to—haven’t even been able to here. And I’ve decided I won’t talk about Luka in it. You know why? Because I want you to have the joy of falling in love with him all over again. I think I could spend my whole life doing that.

Ask him what he has to tell you when it’s all over. But it has to be over. And if you’re reading these words now, it won’t be until you finish what I started. I’m so sorry. I tried.