But I rejoiced too soon. Just as I was preparing to leave the Tower, I fell ill with a fever and lay tossing in my bed, not knowing if it was night or day. My uncle sent his own physician to attend me. It was he who told me that Tom was ill too, and that he would be visiting him next. By then, I was slowly coming to myself again, although I was weak as a kitten. However, the lust for liberty was strong in me, and I began to make a steady, if slow, recovery.

Then Sir William came to me. His face was grave. In words that seemed incomprehensible, he told me that Tom had died.

It had been an ague, but I was convinced that my beloved had suffered a broken heart, and that he had died because of me. How I wept and stormed at Fate, at those who had parted us and left him to decline in prison. With bitter tears I lamented his loss. It was as if I was frozen inside. I would never love again. I knew it in my bones. I was twenty-two.

My uncle gave orders for me to be moved to the healthy air of Syon Abbey, where the Abbess would look after me, and I could rest and recuperate. As my litter was borne away, I heard the bells of London tolling for the Queen, who had died in childbed. The King would be in mourning as I was, but at least he had been vouchsafed the freedom to love his chosen lady.

Tom’s death had dealt me a body blow and sickened my soul. I was still ill when Easter came, although I was able to take walks through the cloisters and the abbey’s orchards, or sit in the shade of its ancient mulberry trees. Thanks to the Abbess’s care of me, I grew stronger daily, even if I was still deep in grief. I spent time in the famous library, seeking for books that could offer me spiritual solace. My life was ruled by the bells of the great church calling the community to the divine offices seven times a day. Often, I would pray with them, sending up fervent intercessions for Tom’s soul.

I left Syon in April, still quite weak. There was no queen now, so I could not return to court. I was sent to stay with my old friend, the Lady Mary, who had been restored to favour at court, thanks to Queen Jane’s good offices. Mary warmly welcomed me. To my relief, she assured me she had never resented my having served the Boleyn; she knew I had had no choice in the matter. And so we resumed our friendship.