*

When Meera told Abhimanyu about rejecting Sahil’s offer, she had expected him to be supportive and reassure her that she’d taken the right decision. But instead his face grew more solemn.

‘What is the matter, Abhi? Why aren’t you saying anything?’ she asked him, a feeling of dread blooming steadily in her stomach. For months, Abhimanyu had been teetering on the edge of telling Meera about the conversation he’d had with Uday Singh. It had been eating him from the inside. Everytime he gathered the courage to come clean, every time he mustered up the courage to speak the truth, he fell short, hoping that he could find it in himself to defy his father and marry Meera. A royal marrying a commoner, dear reader, was unheard of in those days. But Abhimanyu was not one to be bogged down by such orthodoxy. He could have disowned his family in a heartbeat to spend another day with Meera, even if that meant bringing shame, disgrace and dwindled political fortunes to his family – he could stomach that. But Abhimanyu wanted to walk away from Meera for her own good. The protracted talks on accession, his mother’s death, his father’s decision to join politics and his siblings chasing their own agendas had made his family dysfunctional. ‘We were all unfit for her,’ he would say later. Their’s was a family Abhimanyu didn’t see Meera surviving even if he were to disown them, given their propensity for prestige and power. Abhimanyu couldn’t care less about Meera’s devadasi lineage, but he knew his family cared enough to ruin their relationship. Her history notwithstanding, the royal family would simply not allow her to pursue a singing career in the future.

That is what Abhimanyu had concluded through his days in hell. And when he saw Meera give up her dreams of singing – another ‘lowly’ profession in royal eyes, he was sure – to be with him, he was determined to make Meera walk away from him for her own good.

‘We can’t be together, Meera, I am sorry.’ If only the earth could swallow him alive, he thought.

Meera felt as though she’d been punched in the gut. She felt the air rush out of her lungs. After a moment’s pause that felt like an eternity, she spoke.

‘Why? Is this what you want? Or is this your family’s decision?’ Meera instinctively knew it had to with the family.

‘It is complicated, Meera. I don’t know how to explain it without making this more difficult than it already is.’

‘Don’t try and spare my feelings, Abhi! You’re ending our relationship and I have every right to know why,’ Meera spoke in breaths.

Abhimanyu told her the half-truth about his conversation with his father – how Uday Singh was opposed to him marrying a commoner, not to marry Meera, to keep the family honour.

‘If there is somebody to blame, it is me,’ Abhimanyu said, fighting his tears. ‘I am the culprit for having hidden this from you for so long. God is my witness and will be my judge for what I have done to you. All I know is that you are my life, my dear, and I know it in my bones that I am not right for you.’