I felt mild-tempered during the dream and the most puzzling aspect, as it was unfurling, was my point of vision. I was continually circling Nat as if I were a satellite of his, completing orbit every few seconds, the rapidity of his movements unable to curtail my curving course.

SUN MAR 29

Nat has been having exceedingly bad luck with the nibs he uses for his miniature drawings, breaking several in the space of only a few weeks. This is not very funny, because he uses only the finest mapping pen tips which are ridiculously expensive. He becomes quite agitated if he has to spend a day without drawing. This does not worry me, for anger seems a positive emotion for Nat. It is only when he begins to reflect on such passionate states that the rot sets in. He has had some death thoughts of late, or at least admitted that such thoughts are often there. Encouragingly, when I enquired where they registered on a scale of one to ten, taking ten as suicide, he was insistent that they rated no more than a four.

SUN APR 19

Today I tried to broach the subject of sex with Nat, but he would have none of it. I don’t think I shall raise the matter again, for I detect within him a threat to terminate our Sunday talks over coffee, should I push him too far. That would be a shame as I enjoy his company, but then I enjoy many people’s company.

Nat’s life is still as insular as ever. When he waffles on about his plans for a record I bring him back down to earth, by making it quite clear that to achieve his admittedly humble ambitions he must first do something practical. He then trots out the sordid tale of his last attempt to realise this dream. I remind him that I am willing to administer the occasional push should needs continue to warrant such action.

SUN MAY 3

Nat has arranged for his band to go into a recording studio next month. Both he and Greg have learned well from their previous bitter experience. They have been minutely scouring the covers of their favourite punk records, and have ascertained the most favourable studio from which to acquire the sound they want.

SUN MAY 24

Nat is very excited about the impending recording session. Apparently, the studio is a “squat” in what was once a chic area of South London. It is now terribly dilapidated and avoided by most upright citizens. It sounds like another recipe for disaster to me, but Nat finds it all romantic, in a way only the young can. Aside from this, he has no other news. Tentatively, I probed him about his dreams. He declared that he could not remember any, but he looked somewhat guilty. There are some people so uptight that they cannot have an orgasm even when asleep. I do not think that Nat is quite in this category.