Why did I fucking do that? I’ll never know, only that I’m a mad bastard, and there must a’ been evil in me afore I ever put the scag into me veins. All I ever fucking wanted was Janet and the kids, and maybe, yeh, okay, a job in the power plant where the river of hot water come out, and the little secret slabs a’ soap in the wall for the men – ah, Jesus, pipe dreams. Fucking pipe dreams, Joe, me lad. You were never going to have a nice job like that and your fucking ma from North Summer Street and all the rest. There was nothing put the evil into meself only meself. And it wasn’t Billy dying or nothing like that. And though this fucking virus is creeping up on me, creeping, what can I do about it? It’s not like I don’t care, I do care about it, I can’t see how any living breathing person wouldn’t. Because I want to fucking live. I want to see the bleeding new millennium that everyone’s gassing on about. I want to fucking live.

Light on Janet and Joe.

Janet   It’s funny, when you’re saying things, really trying to remember and tell the truth, there’s another part of your head listening to it, and the other part of your head just now and then is saying, that’s not true. I’m just noticing that now. Just sort a’ noticing it. Because the part of you talking is the real part of ya, I mean, angry sometimes, and sometimes kinda weepy, and I suppose very hurt now and then, and oftentimes shy even.

Because, speakin’ a’ things not being true, that time Patty Duffy went out to comfort the dying in Parnell Street, that I was telling you about – yeh? I was a little girl then? Okay? Yeh, I was. But, I wasn’t just told about it. I shouldn’t a’ said that, because it isn’t true. And I only said it because I didn’t want to be – going back.

I was a little girl in a little girl’s set of knicks, you know, and some scaldy ould T-shirt I suppose if we had them then. You heard this huge bang. Everyone heard it. Even the boys and girls in the School for the Deaf heard it. I tell you.

I was about seven or eight. I went running out of me da’s, and down the clattery iron steps. As I came up Cumberland Street I was walking slower and slower. I was looking, you see, big eyes out on stalks. I was on me own, I mean, I wasn’t, there was loads of people milling about, crying, that was the first thing, tears everywhere I looked, tears and tears, and then me skinny legs bringing me to Parnell Street.