The forward scouts, some from the Girls’ Own and others from Give-Em-Hell’s cavalry, had been given quiet instructions to ask the folk they met about others who might have come this way. Winter wasn’t sure what she expected to find—traffic on the River Road was heavy enough that a small group of young women wouldn’t have attracted much notice—but she had to try. I’ll find her. She wants me to find her.

“No,” Abby said. She looked at the table, on which was spread a map, and put her finger near the spot where they were camped. “We’ll make Orlan tomorrow. That’s our best chance to pick up the trail, assuming she came this way at all.”

“She came this way,” Winter said. “This is the way back to Vordan City. Where else does she have to go?”

Abby nodded. “We’ll find her. If not before we get to the city, then after.”

After . . . Winter hadn’t let herself think too much about after. What might happen after everything played out, after Janus confronted Maurisk. It seemed like a distant fantasy world, the other side of an endless river with no bridge in sight. The end of the war.

“Cyte needs to talk to you,” Abby said, seeing the distant look in Winter’s eyes. “She’s got orders to go over for tomorrow. And I think there were some disciplinary issues Bobby wanted you to look at.”

“Right.” Winter pulled herself back to the here and now. Since Jane had left, that seemed to be getting harder and harder. “Tell them I’m ready for them.”

“And try to get more sleep,” Abby said, getting to her feet. “You look exhausted.”

*   *   *

“Take the knife,” Jane said, as though instructing a friend in how to carve a roast. “Put the point of it about here”—she raised her head and put the tip of the dagger on her throat, just under her chin—“and press in, upward, as hard as you can.”

I did it already. Winter could feel the soft flesh of Sergeant Davis’ throat parting under her blade, the stunned, stupid look on his face as his blood gushed over her hands.

“Fuck the army,” Jane said. “Fuck the Directory. Fuck all of them. It is not your responsibility, don’t you understand? You don’t have to care.”

I can’t help it. Winter let her hands fall, the knife slipping through her fingers. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I can’t help it.

“Just because you weren’t brave enough to save me doesn’t mean you have to save the whole world to make up for it.”

How can you say that? Winter squeezed her eyes shut, tears falling. I came back for you. You never came looking for me.

“We’re together.” Jane leaned close to her. “Now, and always.”