Back in Belgium he had tried to work odd jobs away from people, helping out foresters and farmers mostly. Sometimes he would go berserk. The forests were never kind to him. Farms could bring smells that provoked. Worse than that, he trusted no one. He couldn’t. He didn’t even trust Heloise anymore. He hated that about himself. And he didn’t want to pass this on to his boy. He himself never had a father to speak of, but having none was probably better than a paranoid father who haunted a boy and plagued a man. Supposing he did that to Holger Thomas? Kept scaring the good boy with his erratic behaviors. Heloise could only explain it away for so long. Supposing his boy tried to live up to things that could not and should not be lived up to, not ever, the weight of centuries of war and hate delivered down his throat like so much cod-liver oil till he choked? Lett wanted to return a good father or not at all.

As Selfer read the letter, his eyebrows raised. When he finished, he held up the page like a winning ticket, then he folded and slid it into his trouser pocket. “The warmonger line is a little rich but, hey, you’re entitled.”

“Believe me now?” Lett said.

Selfer smiled. “Okay, Lett, okay. I’ll have this sent off pronto, on the QT.”

“Then what?”

“Then, I’ll look into getting you to the next stage. I’ll do what I can, that is.”

“Thank you.” Lett took a deep breath, his lungs opening up.

“It’s the least I can do. Considering.”

“There’s another thing,” Lett said. “I haven’t had my shot.”

“What?”

“The second stage—medication. Lansdale dropped it, discontinued it, something.”

“Oh,” Selfer said. He paused a moment, staring into the carpet.

“I know I’m not supposed to discuss it, but I figured you knew.”

“Sure, sure. But, isn’t that half the point of a dosage—so that you don’t require it eventually?”

“It was helping. I really think it was. What if my condition comes back, but worse? Who says it can’t continue?”

Selfer nodded. “Well, I suppose we could reintroduce your dosage. Maybe just not so much. I’ll check with Lansdale. Anything that is helping should be considered and reconsidered . . . This is a work in progress, after all.”

“Thank you. Again. Never thought I’d say that to you.”

“Don’t get your hopes up too much,” Selfer added.

“You mentioned not having the authority. What does that mean exactly?”

Selfer pursed his lips. They threatened to form a pout. “It’s just that . . . Lansdale, well, he outranks me. I know we don’t talk about rank and so forth much here, but the fact is that he does prevail. I’m . . . Like I told you before, I’m more like the manager here than a commander. Sort of a caretaker with pull.”