“Even though she was a hot little thing and we had a fun weekend together, I wish I’d never met Patty so you had never met Jessica. Because ten years later she’s still fucking with you.”

“She’s not fucking with me. She died. That wasn’t her fault.”

But Rob gave a sound of exasperation. “It’s not her fault she was murdered, of course not, and I wouldn’t wish that on any woman. I’m damn sorry that happened to her, I really am. But apart from all of that, before that, you have to recognize that Jessica was just a bitch, Damien. She was a bitch the day we met her and she was a bitch every day after that. She played you for all you were worth.”

Damien’s face went cold. He sat very, very still, thinking it was a good thing they were sitting in a restaurant, because he felt like pounding Rob. It was wrong to say those things about Jessica. “That’s my wife you’re talking about.”

Rob’s voice was low, urgent, his hand gripping the table. “I know that. And maybe you’ll never talk to me again after today, but I have to say this. I can’t stand watching you die a little day by day, becoming this person I don’t know. You’re miserable. Tell me this—when you think of Jessica, are your memories happy?”

No. The answer was in his head before he could consider it. Of course he had some pleasant memories of Jessica. He had loved her, in his own youthful, flawed way, and there had been some fun times. They had been married, they’d lived together, they’d made love. But something had always been wrong between the two of them, and they both had known it. He was always insecure that she would throw in the towel on their relationship, and smart woman that she was, Jessica had always used that to her advantage.

“That doesn’t change the fact that she was killed.” Something he had never really dealt with. He knew what had been done to her in excruciating detail thanks to his grand jury indictment, but he hadn’t dealt with any of that. He had rammed it into a dark, hidden corner of his head to prevent him from losing his mind.

“No, no it doesn’t.” Rob ran his fingers through his hair. “But you need to let go of your relationship, don’t you think? Don’t you deserve a chance to be happy?”

But Jessica had never been happy. Running the tip of his finger over a stray grain of rice on the table, Damien told the truth. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I deserve anything.”

“If you could have anything you wanted, what would it be?”