The picture was fading now that it was five years old.

But the guilt he always felt was just as fresh as it had been years ago when he’d realized that he wasn’t strong enough, man enough, smart enough, to love Jessica the way she needed to be loved.

Yet for the first time ever, Jessica’s voice, her smell, her touch, was drowned out by another woman.

And he knew that was the ultimate betrayal of his dead wife.

Mandy was grateful Jamie had been walking into the apartment building at the same time as she’d been getting out of the cab she’d shared with Damien from LaGuardia. It had given her the option to wave away Damien’s offer to carry her suitcase up and avoid more awkward goodbyes.

Jamie, bless her, had been oblivious, giving Mandy a big hug and grabbing her suitcase straightaway, chattering about the spring storm they were expecting as she waved Damien off with a smile. Mandy had managed her own tepid smile before letting Jamie lead her into the building. Damien hadn’t smiled at all.

“You look so awesome, Mandy! The weather must have agreed with you.”

The weather or the sex. One of the two. “I do feel much better.”

“Good. Hey, let’s order some takeout and you can tell us all about it.”

“Super.” This was the downside to having roommates. When you wanted to be alone and just have a good crying jag, they were there. Not that she had any right to be crying. There had been no surprises from Damien, and she hadn’t wanted any.

Maybe she was just tired.

Maybe it was hormones.

Mandy opened their apartment door and stepped inside, shivering a little. Sixty degrees and sunny was okay, but she had adjusted pretty quickly to running about in a bathing suit.

Caroline was on the couch, her glasses on her nose as she studied some papers in her hand. “Mandy! You look great. How was the trip?” Caroline looked behind her at Jamie and curled her lip. “But first I have to warn you, Ben was here.”

Oh, God. Mandy wrapped her arms around herself and groaned. “When?” She was looking forward to putting her feet up, eating herself sick, and sleeping straight through to tomorrow. She did not want to think about Ben.

Caroline tossed down what she was holding and lifted her glasses off. “Just ten minutes ago.” Her disapproval was obvious. “I told him you were just getting back from the Caribbean and would call him tomorrow, but he said he’d wait. He went across the street to the deli. He probably saw you come in and he’ll be here any minute.”

“Damn!” Mandy ran over to the mirror hanging in the hall. “I’m a wreck! I have plane hair.”