“Thank you,” I said. “There’s been some confusion,” I said. “I always felt,” I said, “his. Really his,” I said. “And genetically, I mean. Despite my coloring. I still just know I’m literally Clyde’s, despite my mother’s … popularity.”

“Yeah, we heard tell she was quite the whore. Soldiers, anybody.” Hands on the head of her cane, Naomi sat straighter. I remembered her blind mom snatching me so hard I bit my lip bloody. Miss Delman had already given away more than she’d intended. Her generous mouth now set itself, pursed.

She followed my eyes above her couch. I studied the group of pictures. Beside those ancient four-leaf clovers, a framed needlepoint, signed with her own stitched initials. Its large Legend: JOHN 3:16.

I imagined Sutie drilling this verse into Aunt Naomi. “Clyde’s favorite, too,” I said, lame. And she at once began, “For Blacks so loved the Whites, they gave up their only begotten souls, that whosoever believeth in Whites shall not perish, but, come Christmas, get a card with maybe a twenty stuck in it.”

“It’s tougher and deeper than that and you know it. I’m here, you’re here…. Clyde would be disappointed we had this chance and blew it.—Is being black really so different?”

A stupid question but a question. With her headswing came one guttural groan: “Like Satchmo told the white man wondering what Jazz is, ‘If you gots to ask, you’ll never know.’ Clyde thought it was different sufficient to where he quit his own folks cold, without much fight. Borrowed a truck to take Momma and me to the July Fourth thing in Norlina. Whites hung out on one side the square, and Sutie and our friends the other. There were bands, fireworks. Right off, Clyde gets greeted by the white salesboy from Epstein’s Men’s Wear. Was the place Clyde hung around staring in their window at all the bright vests and suspenders. That fellow was a real gladhander, owned a Packard he kept parked out front the store. We came from so far into the country, that joker didn’t know what was what with us. Soon as he calls Brother’s name, Clyde peels right off from nappy us, oh yeah. We could see him off over there, playing the fool for the rich kids. Acting out his jokes, those big hands and that bump head. Bojangles, but the other color.—After bout an hour, Clyde wanders over to buy him some popcorn. The refreshment stand was halfway between, catching sales from both groups, see. Clyde knows he’s being watched by his fancy new white friends. So he eats popcorn while facing off from Momma and me. Talking out one side his mouth, he says, ‘They got a party, after. They ain’t about to ax me twice. Here, gal, you drive Momma home.’ And throws me the keys. I was thirteen. That truck had gears to it. Took us two hours’ jerking to get half back down the road. Leaving us, he hands me such popcorn as he hadn’t eaten. I remember watching my brother walk clean across that square, his back to us, white shirt, red suspenders. Seemed like it took forever. Beside me on the courthouse steps, I could hear Sutie crying. I didn’t want to look.—And you thinking I care how you feel now? Oh sure, he’d later send a fifty in some envelope. Food packages—but mostly the kind with bows on top. Nosir, the second that chump-clown figured his race ran more to ‘Ugly’ than to ‘Colored,’ why, he just up and ditched us. Drowned-rat nasty-looking as he was, people paid that so much attention, he could someway ‘pass.’ (I never understood it. To me, he always looked like what he was, but, then, that’s family for you.) Sure, he felt bad once he’d give us all the slip. But his fun and those pimp clothes, was them always came first. Had quite an eye for the gals, pitiful. Man never liked to stop laughing long, real knee-slapper. Coming up, I had to borrow my cousin’s shoes to walk to school. I got to use ’em two days a week, she had them the other three. Know my nickname at the schoolhouse? ‘Tuesday Thursday.’ ‘Here come Miss Tuesday Thursday Nappy Head.’ And I still graduated. He dead, you say? That seem bout right. Don’t you ever be comin round me, heah?” She lifted her cane, shook it once, set it down with a knock.