I scoop the crushed pills into Adelina’s teacup, regretting that I’ve resorted to drugging her. There’s no other choice. She can stand by and wait for death if that’s what she chooses, but I refuse to give up or to go down without a fight, without doing everything within my power to survive.

With the tray teetering in my hands, I leave Ella at the table and make my rounds. One by one I hand the tea out around the orphanage, and when I’m ushered into the Sisters’ quarters to deliver Adelina her tea, I carefully shove her cup towards the front edge. She takes it with a polite nod. “Sister Camila is feeling ill this evening and I have been asked to sleep in the children’s quarters tonight for her.”

“Okay,” I say. As I think about the possibilities of Adelina and me being in the same room tonight, I watch her take a long sip from her teacup. I can’t tell if I just made a huge mistake or helped my cause immensely.

“I will see you soon then,” she says. Then she winks at me. I’m taken aback, almost dropping the two remaining cups from my tray to the floor.

“O-okay,” I stutter.

When curfew comes a half hour later, nobody falls asleep right away, and instead many girls whisper to one another in the dark. I lift my head every few minutes to look at Adelina lying on her bed across the room. Her wink has left me confused.

Ten more minutes pass. I can tell most everyone is still awake, including Adelina. She’s usually quick to fall asleep when she’s on duty, so the fact that she’s still up tells me that she’s also waiting for everyone in the room to fall asleep. Now I think her wink definitely meant she wanted to resume our conversation. The room falls silent, and I wait before I lift my head. Adelina hasn’t moved in the last half hour, so I move the left legs of her bed off the ground and tip her slightly. Suddenly she raises her left arm above her like a white flag of surrender, and she points to the doorway.

I toss the covers aside, stand, then tiptoe from the room. When I reach the hall I slink a few paces into the shadows, holding my breath, hoping this isn’t some sort of trap Adelina and Sister Dora have set up. After thirty seconds, Adelina enters the hallway. Her walk is labored and she sways from side to side.