“I don’t want you to answer the question yet,” he interrupted. “I want you to really think about it and ask yourself if you can really do this. Not fighting. Not using the elements. Ask yourself if you’re ready to kill someone without a second of hesitation. If you’re ready to deliver a fatal blow before your opponent lands a hit on you. If you’re ready to be the aggressor.”

Those questions left me cold. I wanted to say that I could do it when I needed to, but truthfully? The dummy swayed slightly in front of me, made of rubber and synthetic flesh. I wasn’t ready to say yes, I could kill something. Well, besides animals with my car, and I still felt horrible about all of that, but on purpose?

I thought about Hyperion, and I squeezed my eyes shut. I could’ve killed him. Easily. The things he said and did . . . I sucked in a sharp breath and shuddered. I didn’t even need to try to remember the iciness of his breath or the heaviness of his hand.

Yeah. I could’ve killed him.

But this? Actively killing people—er, daimons or whatever? It was different. Killing things wasn’t what I was all about. It was who I needed to be to survive. I couldn’t be weak. I had to be stronger than this. Strong like the female Sentinels I saw every day. Strong like I imagined Alex had been. Or was. Still is.

I opened my eyes. “Alex didn’t have a problem with killing things, did she?”

Seth blinked and took a step back. Like, a legit step back.

My eyes widened. I hadn’t meant to ask that out loud, and I didn’t even know where that came from. Okay. I did know where it came from: my mouth, which apparently was connected to that deep, dark subconscious part of me that wouldn’t shut the fuck up.

“Yeah, um, can I . . . Yeah, I didn’t ask that question.” My face flushed, and I hastily turned away, walking toward where I’d left my hoodie and water.

I could not believe I’d brought Alex into a conversation like this.

Seth never talked about Alex.

For obvious reasons, it was a touchy subject. I understood why. Seth and Alex had a way weird past. Being that both were Apollyons, they were fated to be together, designed in that way. But Alex loved Aiden, and I . . . I wasn’t sure how Seth felt about Alex. Deacon had made it sound like it hadn’t been that serious, but Deacon wasn’t Seth.

Deacon was Aiden’s younger brother, so maybe he only saw what he wanted to see when it came to Alex and Seth.