CECILY (rising): To save my poor, innocent, trusting boy from the machinations of any other girl there are no lengths to which I would not go.

GWENDOLEN: From the moment I saw you I distrusted you. I felt that you were false and deceitful. I am never deceived in such matters. My first impressions of people are invariably right.

CECILY: It seems to me, Miss Fairfax, that I am trespassing on your valuable time. No doubt you have many other calls of a similar character to make in the neighbourhood.

Enter JACK.

GWENDOLEN (catching sight of him): Ernest! My own Ernest!

JACK: Gwendolen! Darling! (Offers to kiss her.)

GWENDOLEN (drawing back): A moment! May I ask if you are engaged to be married to this young lady? (Points to CECILY.)

JACK (laughing): To dear little Cecily! Of course not! What could have put such an idea into your pretty little head?

GWENDOLEN: Thank you. You may! (Offers her cheek.)

CECILY (very sweetly): I knew there must be some misunderstanding, Miss Fairfax. The gentleman whose arm is at present round your waist is my guardian, Mr. John Worthing.

GWENDOLEN: I beg your pardon?

CECILY: This is Uncle Jack.

GWENDOLEN: (receding): Jack! Oh!

Enter ALGERNON.

CECILY: Here is Ernest.

ALGERNON (goes over to CECILY without noticing anyone else): My own love: (Offers to kiss her.)

CECILY (drawing back): A moment, Ernest! May I ask you – are you engaged to be married to this young lady?

ALGERNON (looking round): To what young lady? Good heavens! Gwendolen!

CECILY: Yes! to good heavens, Gwendolen, I mean to Gwendolen.

ALGERNON (laughing): Of course not! What could have put such an idea into your pretty little head?

CECILY: Thank you. (Presenting her cheek to be kissed.) You may. (ALGERNON (kisses her.)

GWENDOLEN: I felt there was some slight error, Miss Cardew. The gentleman who is now embracing you is my cousin, Mr. Algernon Moncrieff.

CECILY (breaking away from ALGERNON): Algernon Moncrieff! Oh!

The two girls move towards each other and put their arms round each other’s waists as if for protection.

CECILY: Are you called Algernon?

ALGERNON: I cannot deny it.

CECILY: Oh!

GWENDOLEN: Is your name really John?

JACK (standing rather proudly): I could deny it if I liked. I could deny anything if I liked. But my name certainly is John. It has been John for years.

CECILY (to GWENDOLEN): A gross deception has been practised on both of us.

GWENDOLEN: My poor wounded Cecily!

CECILY: My sweet wronged Gwendolen!

GWENDOLEN (slowly and seriously): You will call me sister, will you not?

They embrace. JACK and ALGERNON groan and walk up and down.

CECILY (rather brightly): There is just one question I would like to be allowed to ask my guardian.