Contents (42)
- Dedication
- Contents
- Part One
- The Truth
- 1. May
- 2. May
- 3. June
- Part Two
- Summer Holidays
- 4. July
- 5. August
- 6. October
- Part Three
- Watching the Grown-Ups
- 7. October
- The Night After the Party
- 8. November
- Three Weeks After Ash’s Death
- 9. November
- Part Four
- Damage
- 10. November
- 11. November
- 12. November
- Part Five
- Disguises
- 13. November
- 14. November
- 15. March
- Part Six
- Friendship
- 16. April
- 17. April
- 18. April—Same Day
- 19. May
- 20. December
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Also by Jane Shemilt
- Copyright
- About the Publisher
Poppy is on the mattress, muttering in her sleep, her right arm resting on the outside cover. Izzy stares from the bed, narrowing her eyes, but Poppy’s arm is still wrapped up and Izzy can’t see the cut, so she turns to look out the window into the night. The evening worked out okay in the end in spite of the way it began, with Eve pretending that her stupid food and the music and everything were for the kids when it was completely fucking obvious who it was really for. Eve and Martin had been dancing and looking into each other’s eyes and everyone was too drunk or too stupid to see what was going on, except maybe Eric, but it was totally clear he wasn’t going to do anything about it. Dad was blitzed out of his mind; he tried to make her dance with him in front of everyone, as if she would. That was when she decided to go upstairs and start the games. It was a party; everyone knows you are supposed to play games at a party. She pulled her little bag of dice from her pocket and led the way upstairs; the others had followed.
Blake hunches in the corner of the car on the way home as far away from Charley as he can get. Dad is singing so he blocks his ears. He wants to think about what happened: the feel of Izzy’s breath on the side of his face and the way her hair tickled his cheek. He’s been wanting to do something major to please her for ages, like rescuing her from a snarling dog or a burning building or drowning or something. Even though he didn’t exactly rescue her, she must be pleased with him now. He did exactly what she asked; she’d said cut deeper and he had. She’d been holding Poppy’s arm; Sorrel had been hanging on to Poppy’s hand, whimpering. Charley looked like she was going to be sick. Blake’s heart had been thudding in time with the music downstairs. He’d practiced on the tarpaulin covering Igor’s bike, but skin’s different, bouncier for a start. Warmer. He’d had to press harder on the blue handle and the skin on the underside of Poppy’s arm bulged up on either side of the blade, then the tip sank in. He’d felt all sweaty. He pulled the knife along about four inches, keeping the blade quite deep like Izzy said. The blood welled up straightaway. It felt wrong and interesting at the same time. Wipe it, Izzy had said, so we can see.
Blake wiped the blood off Poppy’s arm with the bottom of his T-shirt; the cut was straight as though he had drawn the blade along the edge of a ruler. He felt as if he’d passed a test. Poppy said it didn’t hurt though she looked funny. Charley wrapped a shirt around her arm.
Blake squashes himself farther into the corner of the car. He’s not going to start feeling sorry for Poppy. She’d thrown the dice with the fewest dots; what happened was fair, she knew the rules. They had been about to play it again but Dad called up and he and Charley had to go home and Eve said the others had to go to bed super quick because it was late. Poppy might have fallen asleep already but all the same he can’t get her pale face out of his mind.