‘Oh, my darling girl!’ Her mum and dad were hurrying down the short garden path. ‘Oh, my poor sweet darling. Caro phoned. Where is he? Is he here? I’ve got something to say to that – that … Are you eating beans out of a jug?’ Cynthia turned to her husband. ‘Mungo, she’s eating beans out of a jug.’

As her mother bustled past her and into the living room, taking the bean jug as she went, Bella’s dad leaned forwards and gave Bella a kiss on the head. ‘He’s a prick if he’s left you, Bella. And if he’s a prick, you’re better off without him. I know it hurts too much to see that right now, but you’ll realise it soon.’

Bella closed the front door behind them. ‘He’s gone off with some woman named Pepper.’

‘Pepper?’ The three of them screeched in unison.

A slightly hysterical laugh emerged, and Bella pressed a hand to her lips.

‘Well, that’s a stupid name,’ said her mum.

‘Isn’t it?’ agreed Caro. ‘It’s like Peppa Pig. Who’d call their child that? No wonder she’s got issues.’

‘How do you know she’s got issues?’ Bella asked.

‘Umm, hello. She’s stolen someone else’s boyfriend and she’s named after a vegetable.’

‘It’s a fruit actually.’ Why did she keep saying that? It didn’t actually help anything and saying it out loud made her seem deranged but still her lips kept moving and sounds emerged. ‘It’s got seeds in it.’

‘Hardly the point, dear,’ Cynthia said, taking off her coat and draping it over the sofa. ‘Now, sit down and tell us everything.’

She patted the sofa and after Bella squeezed in next to her as she would have done as a little girl, she told them exactly what she’d found when she’d got home.

Her dad was the first to speak. ‘That absolute—’

‘Now, now, Mungo,’ Cynthia replied. ‘You’re going all splotchy. Remember your blood pressure.’

Mungo took a deep breath. ‘I don’t think I can actually say what I want to call him out loud. I’ll get hit by lightning or dragged down to hell or something, but he better not change his mind and come crawling back. I’ll have a few words to say to him if he does.’

Bella felt numb. The events unfurling around her were like something she’d see in a sitcom. She felt detached and like it was all happening to someone else or in a different universe to her usual one. ‘I’m going to have to go to bed on my own,’ she said suddenly, tears welling in her eyes. ‘And I’ll be on my own at Christmas too.’

‘No you won’t,’ her mum said. ‘You’ll be with us.’