The arguments for refusing consisted of:

I barely know him

I have no idea what living in Malaya would be like

He’s much older than me

His letter was blunt with no hint of romance

Once I go I may not be able to come back

It’s a huge risk

After a few minutes she crossed out the third item. Twelve years wasn’t that much of an age gap and hardly a reason in itself not to marry Douglas Barrington. She drew a circle around the last item, as that was the crux of the matter – the other points were all different aspects of risk.

Turning to the empty first column she wrote:

Dancing with Douglas Barrington was one of the most exciting and memorable moments of my life

I’ve always wanted something interesting to happen to me

I hate living here

I’m bored with working for Mrs ST

Mrs ST doesn’t appreciate me

If I don’t do this I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering what might have happened

This is probably my last and only chance for love, marriage and a family

Douglas is the most handsome man I’ve ever met.

She read the list again and thought it sounded very childish and superficial. She crossed out the last point. On reflection the most salient point was the one about spending the rest of her life wondering ‘what if?’. She drew a circle round that. In the end it all boiled down to whether she wanted to grasp hold of life or cower timorously and carry on with her humdrum existence.

She dipped her pen in the inkwell and filled it. Taking a new sheet of paper, she crafted her reply to Douglas Barrington.

A telegram arrived from Douglas Barrington two weeks later, advising Evie that his friend, Arthur Leighton would be in touch about travel arrangements. Mrs Shipley-Thomas pleaded with Evie to stay, offering her first a bigger bedroom with a view over the garden, then when that failed, a substantial pay rise. Evie was determined to resist such blandishments, telling herself that if her employer valued her so highly she should have offered them before there was the threat of her leaving. When the pleading became anger and resentful silences, Evie knew she had made the right choice. Mrs Shipley-Thomas was governed entirely by self-interest and clearly didn’t give a fig about Evie’s welfare and future. After all, why should she? As the weeks passed, Evie’s fears diminished and her excitement grew. She couldn’t wait to get on the ship and wave goodbye to dreary England and her dreary life.

As soon as a suitable replacement was found within the pages of The Lady, Mrs Shipley-Thomas told Evie she would pay her wages until the agreed leaving date, but she would like her to go now, as Miss Prendergast, the new companion, was willing to start immediately. Relieved to be free of what had become an oppressive atmosphere, Evie took a room in a boarding house in a cheap and unfashionable area of London while she waited for the date she was due to sail.