I stared at her. A hundred dodges flitted through me, but nothing came out of my mouth. And as I sat there, it suddenly occurred to me that I had been spending so much time with my mother these last three months not because of her, but because of me, fragile after Kisten’s death. I lost it then, dropping my head onto my folded arms on the table and choking the tears back. This was why I’d come running to my mother, not some stupid charm I knew she didn’t have. I had thought with the right spell I could help Ivy. I had thought I could help myself. But now, I couldn’t help either of us. We had gotten what we wanted, and it set us back further than if we had let it alone.

I couldn’t look at my mom, but there was the scrape of her chair on the linoleum, and an ugly bark of a sob escaped me when her hand landed on my shoulder. Damn it, I had to grow up and be safe, stop reacting when I should be acting. I had to live with a vampire without even the cushion of pretending there would ever be a bite between us, which just might send Ivy away. I wouldn’t blame her. But I didn’t want her to leave. I liked her. Hell, I probably loved her. And now it was done. We couldn’t go back and pretend that there was anything ahead of us.

“Rachel, honey,” my mother whispered, close and gentle, with the scent of lilac soothing me as much as her voice. “It’s okay. I’m sorry you’re confused, but sometimes souls are meant to be together, and the gears just miss. Ivy’s a vampire, but she’s been your best friend for over a year. You’ll find a way to make this work.”

“You know?” I warbled, lifting my head to find a shared sorrow in her expression.

“It would be hard to miss those bites,” she said. “And if anyone other than Ivy put them there, you’d be in the morgue identifying a body, not sitting in my kitchen pretending nothing is wrong.” I blinked up at her as she shifted my hair and made a worried face at my neck. “Jenks called this morning and told me what happened. He worries about you, you know.”

My lips parted and I drew out of her reach. Great, who knew what he told her? “Mom.”

But she only pulled out a chair to sit beside me, her hand still on my shoulder. “I loved your father with all my being. Don’t take potions to forget. It leaves gaps, and then you don’t remember why you feel the way you do. It makes things worse.”