“You’re not fine.” Jenks got in my face to break my connection with Ivy. “She is trying to overcome an addiction. Tell her to leave. If she can leave, then maybe she does have enough control and you can try again later. Just not today. Not today, Rachel!”

I looked at Ivy standing by the sink, hunched with a need so deep it hurt to see it. I had waited with Kisten, hadn’t let him bite me, and now he was dead. I couldn’t wait for later if there was a now. I wouldn’t.

“I don’t want her to leave.” I brought my gaze to Jenks. “I want you to.”

Ivy closed her eyes and the tension in her face eased. “Get out, Jenks,” she said, her voice low and laced with a threat that set my insides quivering. “Or stay and watch, you perverted Peeping Tom. I don’t care. Just shut your damn mouth for a fucking five minutes.”

He sputtered, rising up out of her way as she pushed herself into motion and came to me. My pulse was racing, and I knew that the more fear I showed, the harder it would be for her to find control. We might not be good at this right away, but we had to start somewhere, and I wasn’t going to be the one to fail.

“Ivy,” Jenks pleaded. “It’s too soon.”

“It’s too late,” she breathed into my ear, her fingers resting lightly on my shoulders. The pounding of my heart was loud, and I could feel my pulse lifting the skin at my throat. Jenks moaned in frustration. After darting into my charm cupboard, he zipped out of the kitchen.

Ivy’s touch became liquid heat in his absence. Leaning forward, she traced a path with her fingers across my neck, searching for the unseen scar under my perfect skin. I held my breath, tension rising as she circled for it. This had to be okay. She’d worked hard to find a way around her own desires, and I’d be nothing but a damned tease to say no now.

My air came in fast as her touch turned into a firm grip on my shoulder. I felt her weight shift, and I opened my eyes, surprised at the soothing blue the curtains made. I couldn’t see any of Ivy but her hair. She was that close. God, what is she waiting for?

“Let me,” she murmured, her lips brushing the sensitive skin under my ear, dropping lower, lower, as her head tilted, the blue light making a glint in her hair. I tensed at the sensation, heart pounding. Her hands slid lower, finding the small of my back. Leaning away, she stilled her fingers until our gazes met. “Let me…,” she said again, utterly lost in what was to come.