Then with the intensity of a jump off a cliff into uncertain waters, the two of them suddenly move forward, their lips catching each other’s. There is then a hot and heavy make-out session.

The credit music starts as the camera moves off, showing that around the corner, the man who plays my—I mean Daphne’s—lover lurks in the dark, watching them. His eyes shift to the gun on the table, and the screen goes black.

The credits roll as the muted saxophone theme song—a clear rip-off of “Careless Whisper” that has now become iconic in its own right—begins to wail.

“Damn,” I say, my eyebrows up and mouth agape. “That was a much better twist.”

“Jesus, I knew they were going to do that—there was all the weird talk about horse camp and— Wait.” She shifts to me. “Better twist? I take it that wasn’t the same as in, eh…”

“No. That was actually much better.”

She goes over to the table to pick up the Moleskine.

“A lot of it is close enough, I think!” I say. “The setting of the room, all of it—the gun! But like I said, I guess they wrote it differently with a different actress. They were always changing stuff. I should have known it wouldn’t be the same without me.”

She starts to read and I start to think.

Why was it different with me? Maybe I didn’t have chemistry with Kim or something. But that’s not fair; I would have if I’d been told this was a possible storyline. Maybe in this reality, it’s enough to save the show from the Hollywood guillotine. Plus, there are no major queer characters, all relegated to utility roles, an oversight that has been noted by everyone, including the cast.

I think over the two scenes. It’s got to be close enough to the scene to prove it to Kiera, doesn’t it?

The meaning of some of the lines, the words—they were close enough.

Watching the episode, more than anything so far, feels like the real, tangible proof that I don’t exist. Meg “Meggie” Bryan exists, and she exists here in Avalon. Lana Lord is no more than fiction.

I set out to convince Kiera, but I think I really convinced myself. This is really happening.

“Wait, what time is it?” I say suddenly, looking out the window.

“Just after ten?”

“How is it still twilight?”

My heart starts to pound. I can’t take any more strange details and right now everything seems suspicious.

She shrugs. “Always like that this time of year.”

“Really? How have I never heard that? I knew it about—”

“Should I read this or not?”

“Sorry, yes, go ahead.”

She laughs and shakes her head.

When she finishes reading she looks up at me.

“What do you think?” I ask. “Do you believe me?”