Through a crack in the curtain, I glance covertly out to the front row, where I see Theo is returning from the bar with two beers while Cillian watches the kids.

I swear to God my previously mute ovaries scream at the sight of him smiling and talking to Clare, who now has a hand on her hip and is confidently yammering about something.

I shut the curtain and step away, looking at the set onstage.

We used to sit out in Aimee’s backyard for hours. She had an old house from the 1920s, where my parents had a new build. My house was all mosquitos in hose-water-drenched grass, cool tile flooring, fresh paint.

Aimee’s house had crank windows and real wooden floors, paneled walls in a galley kitchen. The backyard was lush and filled with flowers I never saw anywhere but there. It smelled like honeysuckle and dew. The back had a lattice with ivy and morning glories and we used to sneak out by climbing it. Of course, when we snuck out, we usually only sat in the backyard. In retrospect, we were kids who wanted to be bad but never really got into trouble. Her parents probably knew. But she sometimes would sneak out to see Theo, and they went all over town.

“Water, babes?”

I turn to see Antony holding a big bottle of water.

“Thanks,” I say, taking it.

“No problem.”

He then runs off to deal with some other crisis no one in the audience would ever notice.

I think about Theo and Aimee again. When we were in high school. Once they started dating, they were inseparable.

It did make me jealous. Aimee was right. She hadn’t outright said it that way, but that’s what she meant.

I had some crushes back then, obviously, a boyfriend or two, but they were dumb boys. A way to get kissed for the first time or not show up to prom by myself. She had that first love with Theo, and I didn’t, so I couldn’t understand it.

The truth is, in high school, no one wanted to date me. Probably because all I did was hang out with my best friend and scream-sing “Ordinary World” by Duran Duran in the car with my mom.

The truth is, I was jealous that Aimee had a boyfriend. Jealous that he hadn’t liked me.

The truth is, I got work done and lost all that weight because I didn’t want to look at myself. I wanted to be someone new. I wanted to be chosen and accepted.

The truth is, ever since the car accident, I have been hiding.

The truth is, Aimee is dead. I saw her die.