“These are difficult times,” he says. “It is not surprising that you are unwell. I have been hoping to take you back to Wingfield Manor for the twelve days of Christmas; you will be more comfortable there.”

“We can go to Wingfield?” I ask, wondering if he has new intelligence. Can he know where my army is now? Can he really hope to take me to a house that cannot be defended?

“I hope so,” he says, and in his uncertain tone I know that they are advancing on us, that he knows he is defeated, and Wingfield and Christmas is his dream of peace with me, not a real plan.

“Oh, it will be our second Christmas together,” I exclaim, and watch the color slowly rise under his skin.

“I did not know then...,” he starts and then falls silent. “If you are taken,” he says, and corrects himself. “When you are taken from me...”

“Are they close?” I whisper. “Do you expect them?”

He nods. “I may not say.”

“Don’t resist,” I say urgently. “I could not bear for you to be hurt for my sake. You will be hugely outnumbered, you know, and the men of Coventry won’t take up arms for Elizabeth. Please, just surrender.”

He smiles, a little sadly. “I have to do my duty to the queen. You know that.”

“I too cannot tell you some things,” I whisper. “I have secrets too. But I do know that they are a force, an overwhelming force. When they arrive I want you to promise to come to me, come to my side, and I will protect you.”

“It is I who should be protecting you,” he says. “That is my duty and also my... my...”

“Your what?” I think he will say “desire,” and then we will be on the very brink of a declaration. I know that I should not raise my eyes and my face to him, but I do, and I take a small step so that we are close as lovers.

“It is my habit,” he says simply. “I have a habit of obedience to my queen. And I am obliged. It is my obligation to Queen Elizabeth.” And he steps back from me, his eyes down. “I came only to see if you needed a physician,” he says, his gaze on his boots. “I am glad to find you well.” He bows, and leaves.

I let him go. I have my safety in his unacknowledged love for me: he is mine, even if he does not know it. I have my rescue in the army which is coming ever closer. My future marches towards me, step by step, and the young men of the North on their fast beautiful horses are coming to save me from Elizabeth. The finest army in Europe is coming in their great ships. I am about to regain my own.