He made the last part sound like a curse, and Jereth’s shoulders stiffened. Lance watched nervously as he hefted the wine bottle, threatening to smash it. For a terrible moment, Lance thought he might. But then the fight went out of him.

“I leave in the morning,” Jereth said, a muscle feathering in his jaw. “Will you miss me?”

Lance didn’t hesitate. “Not at all. You might recall that I was deemed unfit to become a knight because I assaulted a member of the royal family.”

Lance held his ground after making the accusation, even though his heart was racing, and he wanted nothing more than to back out of the stables and spend the next few hours obliterating the bull’s-eye on an archery ring until he was drenched in sweat and his muscles ached.

Jereth winced, suddenly fascinated with a piece of hay. At first, Lance thought he wasn’t going to say anything, but then Jereth pushed to his feet and staggered toward him.

“I panicked, okay?” he said. “I was sixteen, and I screwed up. Because that’s what I do. I panic, and I screw up.”

“That’s what you’re going with?” Lance said, incredulous. “Two years after completely wrecking my life, all you have to say for yourself is ‘I panicked’?”

“What else am I supposed to say? That it was a mistake, and I wish I could take it back?”

“That would be a start!” Lance retorted. “You don’t know what it’s like—”

“No, you don’t know what it’s like, being the family disappointment!” Jereth accused. “I’m shit at politics. Hopeless at lessons. Terrible with a sword. My father shuffles me around like a burden, hoping to be rid of me. He sent me away days after my mother found us together. That’s how revolted they are at the thought that, on top of everything else, I prefer boys.”

Jereth’s breath was ragged, and a storm raged in his eyes. And as much as Lance wanted to land an immensely satisfying punch, he remembered how awful it felt, carrying around such a weight, and not knowing how to start the conversation, or how his father might respond when he did.

“It’s possible your father sent you away because you caused a scandal,” Lance pointed out. “Have you ever tried to talk to him?”

“I already know what he’ll say. That I’m a failure in every imaginable way, and the whole family would be better off without me.”

Jereth’s lip curled with distaste, and Lance wondered why he’d bothered.

“If you really believe that, then no one can help you,” Lance said, shaking his head. “Now curry that sarding horse, and clean off your boots before some poor maid has to scrub your mess off the castle floor.”