He shouldn’t be so kind about it. Not about this, when he could have been killed because of her stubbornness. Her anger. And she hadn’t even regretted it, not until just now, when she realized the dates had been the same. She hadn’t regretted it—she’d resented it. Her fingers went tight around his. “I’m sorry though. So sorry.” To think of the pain he was still clawing his way out of. How devastated Dot would have been if she’d lost him.

How empty her life would be right now if he weren’t in it.

“Margot.” His voice was just a whisper, bare and raw. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

It should have made her start. Jump away. List a few of the threats she tossed so easily at other men if ever they made the mistake of getting too close. But it didn’t. It just made her suck in a breath. “Why?”

His lips, a mere two inches from hers, smiled. “Because I don’t recall ever wanting to do anything more. Do you mind?”

“I don’t know.” She should. A kiss would lead to a different kind of courtship, wouldn’t it? One that was more than letters and codes and dinners with his sister. And she didn’t want a different kind of courtship. She liked this one. That wasn’t one. Except that it was. She’d always known it was.

His fingers moved on her cheek in an unfathomably soft caress. “I won’t, if you don’t want me to.”

“I don’t not want you to. I just don’t know if I do want you to.” She wasn’t supposed to be like this. Befuddled and swamped by feeling.

He eased another inch closer. “How about an experiment, then?” His fingers released hers, but they didn’t move far. Just to her wrist. “Scientific. Mathematical. We’ll examine the increase of your pulse. The change in respiration. Dilation of your pupils. To determine if you want me to. What percent of change do you think equals a yes?”

How could he make her laugh even now? It should have changed the numbers, that laugh. Added in another element that threw off the equation. But somehow all it seemed to do was draw her closer to him. Perhaps it worked as a coefficient of the want, simply increasing the end desire rather than offsetting it.