On my way out the door, I tell Kat that she gets to spend the day with her mama and Belinda and the baby while I see to affairs in need of attending.

“Where?” she says, her head cocked in puzzlement. I have never said such a thing to her before.

“Out and about,” I say cheerfully. “I’ll bring you back a sweet.” And I kiss her head and leave with Elliot before she can decide that is not a good enough answer.

We are less than a mile down the lane when Elliot offers to accompany me to San Francisco to help me survey the ruin of my house.

To help with whatever I might find there.

“It’s kind of you, to be sure, but I will be fine. I can manage this,” I answer. “And you have your own business to run.”

“But how will you get out to where your house was? I doubt the streetcars are running, and what if you can’t hail a carriage?”

“I’ll be all right. I’ve walked a long stretch before. I can do it again.”

“And if there are remains of a body to be dealt with? What will you do then?” His tone is abrupt and blunt, as though he means to surprise and nauseate me into accepting his offer of assistance.

But I am not afraid to come upon the burnt remains of Martin Hocking. I feel nothing but disgust for him. I’ve already considered this, imagined it. Practiced it in my head. I’ve already visualized the pile of ashes or the blackened corpse or the grisly mixture of both. I shall not be undone by it. I am ready to see what the fires of judgment did to Martin.

“I’ll bury anything I find in the backyard,” I reply to Elliot.

“With what? And in broad daylight?”

“I’ll find a way. And I’ll do it after sundown if I must. You forget what I’ve already had to do.”

He is quiet for a few seconds. “Let me come with you,” he says a moment later. “Let me help you . . . do this.”

“And be responsible for implicating another person in my offenses? No. I won’t let you be part of this. This is my mess to clean up. Besides, I’ll be fine.”

He shakes his head and looks away from me. He either doesn’t believe I will be fine or is sickened that I will be. “If you’re there after sundown, you’ll miss the last train.”

“I very much hope that does not happen. I’ll sleep on a bench in the train station if I do miss it, and I’ll ask you to please tell Kat that the trains are running off schedule and I’ll catch another one tomorrow. I’ve had to sleep in worse places than a train station, Elliot. I appreciate your concern, I do. But you don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

He is quiet after this and we say little the rest of the way.