It was better that way. It was better if he got it out quietly like that, without his dad knowing what he thought. The one time he’d slipped and told his dad to shut up – it must have been when he was 11 or 12, a good year or two ago now – the old man had slapped him hard around the face. It had hurt badly and left him with a black eye.

Being shouted at didn’t hurt, there was that at least. Better to keep your mouth shut and go somewhere else, and then say your mantra every night like a prayer.

And if he sometimes found himself getting angry during the day at teachers or people in the playground he didn’t even know? Well, that was a small price to pay, wasn’t it?

Fucking Tom. Fucking Tramper. Fucking fat Tramper.

And really it was James Tramper that had started this all off, wasn’t it? Just because he couldn’t take a fucking joke. Just because he had to get all whiny and run off to Tom for protection.

It was just a joke, that was the thing. Gary might get into fights occasionally in the playground and Mrs Williams might call him a bully, but Gary always stood up for his friends.

Once, at the start of Year 8, some Year 10 kid had stuck out his leg and tripped James up in the hallway. Gary had been with him at the time and James had gone sprawling, his Scooby Doo lunchbox flying out of his hands and his crisps and sandwiches scattering across the floor. He’d got up with a red face and looked as though he was about to cry, and after picking up his stuff for him Gary had gone running back down the corridor and punched the Year 10 boy as hard as he could in the face. He’d got into trouble for that one, too. Big trouble. His parents had been called in for a meeting with the headmaster and although his mum had sat there looking as though she was about to cry, his dad had held in a smile and then put his hand on Gary’s shoulder as they walked out into the school car park together.

He’d stuck up for Tramper and he’d do it again, he knew he would, and what thanks did he get? A sense of humour failure and a split lip from the kid who thought he was God’s fucking gift, that was what thanks.