“Travel.” The word was out without her even thinking. “I’ve wanted to travel for years, I don’t care where. Milt and I have hardly been anywhere. We took the girls for a beach holiday each summer and we’ve been interstate for a couple of trips, mostly for business or for family events. Whenever I’ve raised the topic of taking a proper holiday Milt’s always said one day we will. Then I found myself saying it when other people told us about their travels and then I realised…” She turned back to Rosie who was still watching her. “One day meant never.”

“Holidays are good but you still have to go home.”

Rosie’s words dropped like rocks. Natalie shifted in her chair. She wasn’t ready to do that.

“What else would you do?”

Natalie looked at all the pots around her on the verandah and recognised a yearning she’d long neglected. “Create a proper garden. We have a basic one, a few shrubs and a bit of lawn, a couple of flowers. I plant a few veggies in the summer and I have a patch of gerberas that I manage to keep alive and one rose that was my father-in-law’s. Milt calls them my weeds.”

“He’s not a gardener?”

“No. His parents weren’t either so I guess he never had the chance.”

“I love my garden.”

They both sipped their tea, gazing at the oasis that surrounded Rosie’s home.

“Is there something else,” Rosie asked. “Something that you want more of in your life?”

“A slower existence that doesn’t involve juggling my work between everyone else’s, maybe do up the house or even buy somewhere near the sea and get Milt to retire. I want the chance to hold grandchildren but…before that I want more time with my girls. That sounds crazy ’cause they’re all home at the moment and here I am on the other side of the country.” Natalie pictured their faces and felt the stab of the guilt that had plagued her since she’d returned to teaching. The Model Wife had been partly responsible for that, with its stern command to give up work beyond the home for the sake of her family. Olive had added her disapproval, asking Natalie how she would manage, and Natalie had worked especially hard so that her mother-in-law could never suggest she wasn’t coping. “I’ve always worked. Either teaching or jobs that were needed for the property. I was lucky my mother-in-law lived with us so she often looked after the girls when I had late meetings.”

That was true, she would have needed after-hours care if it hadn’t been for Olive, who’d also done a few extras such as bringing in washing or doing some pre-preparation of meals, but she always made sure Natalie was aware of how much she did, adding to the weight of Natalie’s guilt.